Ronnie's Son
by katrin1989
Summary: Instead of a baby girl, Ronnie gave birth to a boy. She has been heartbroken over gving away her baby boy all those years ago but little does she know that he has turned up in walford in search of his mother.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful summer's day when Matthew Jones walked out of Walford tube station. He had arrived in search of something, more specifically someone. Carrying a large duffel bag on his shoulder and a mind full of ambition he made his way to Albert Square.

At 19 years old he was a handsome young man who could charm almost anyone he met. Finding a job was his priority and he hoped there would be somewhere nearby that could offer that possibility. Matthew walked through the market glancing at the stalls briefly before deciding where to try first. Surely one of these stalls needed an extra hand, perhaps a bit of temporary summer work?

Fruit and veg stall, why not? It maybe wasn't the most exciting job in the world but he

Wasn't one to shy away from trying new things.

Just as Matthew was about to introduce himself to the vender, a pretty face caught his eye. On the stall opposite there was a stunning brunette. She looked quite harassed and it was a busy day. The stall sold clothes and accessories for women but that didn't put Matthew off.

"That'll be Ten pounds love," The girl said. "Thanks see you later have a good night!"

Matthew hadn't decided how to approach his girl, he thought she seemed friendly and her good looks were a bonus. The girl caught him looking at her and she wasn't too pleased.

"What you looking at?" she sneered.

Matthew walked over to the stall and dumped his duffel bag on the ground by his feet.

"I was actually looking for a job, any vacancies?" he asked grinning.

The girl clearly wasn't taken in by his charms and she just laughed.

"What work here? Selling women's clothes, I don't think so. Why don't you try the Queen Vic?" The girl suggested. "No offence you're a good dresser and everything but I'm fine just now."

Matthew looked disappointed but he still managed to smile.

"Thanks anyway, the queen Vic you said, where's that?" he enquired.

"Right behind you. I'm Stacey by the way," she held out her hand for him to shake.

"Thanks Stacey, I'm Matthew. Any chance I could take you out for a drink sometime?" Matthew asked cheekily. He could see that Stacey had warmed to him slightly.

Stacey held up her hand and pointed at the ring on her finger.

"Ah I see, well there's no harm in you giving me the low-down on this place?" Matthew said in response to her gesture.

"Maybe, good luck with the job hunt," said Stacey.

Matthew pulled the bag back over his shoulder and walked towards the Queen Vic. It looked very old and worn out from the outside but when he walked in it appeared to have a much friendlier atmosphere. People were chatting in corners gossiping about the neighbours or catching up with old friends. It had a welcoming environment. Behind the bar stood a blonde haired woman wearing a lot of make-up and a smile on her face. Something about this woman made Matthew nervous and he couldn't figure out why.

"What can I get you love?" she asked in a rather loud and hoarse voice.

"Em..Well I was looking for a job?" Matthew said hesitantly.

The woman stood back and surveyed him up and down.

"How old are you?" she asked curiously.

"Nineteen," Matthew replied.

"Have you had any experience working behind a bar?" she was questioning him like it was an interrogation.

"I've worked in a restaurant before, and I worked behind the bar there sometimes. Part from that not much," He shot her a huge grin in the hope that it would make things go well for him.

She leaned over the bar and motioned for him to come closer.

"Tell you what. You come here tomorrow afternoon at 1 and I'll give you a trial. If you do ok then we'll see, but don't expect loads of shift straight away," She was friendly now.

"I'm Roxy by the way, Roxy Mitchell."

"Mitchell?" Matthew repeated.

"Yeah you know us by reputation?" she laughed.

Matthew just smiled back at her; he had made an interesting discovery already. Working here wouldn't be too bad, he would just have to impress Roxy and by the looks of it she was pretty outgoing when she wasn't interrogating you.

"What's your name sweet cheeks?" Roxy shouted as Matthew was about to leave.

"It's Matthew!" he replied.

"See ya tomorrow matty!"

**Hey! This was another idea I had, what if there was no Danielle and Ronnie actually gave birth to a son. She spent all those years wanting her baby boy instead. There will be more back story to it but for now I wanted a simple introduction. I thought about naming him Daniel but that seemed too cheesy! Please review if you can, I want to keep both stories going. xx p.s I really hope nobody has went with an idea like this already but if so I'm soz I didn't realise :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Matthew suddenly awoke and sat upright in bed. He had been finding it hard to sleep lately and his mind was quite unsettled. It wasn't the almost solid mattress of the bed in his B&B room that caused this distress though, it was something much more pressing than that.

He wiped his brow of sweat and pulled back the covers. Looking at the clock on his bedside table Matthew saw that it was only six o'clock in the morning. Only seven hours to go until he started his hopefully, new job. But this also wasn't the reason he was unable to sleep through the night. Matthew reached for his bag which lay at the end of the bed. Out of the front compartment he pulled an envelope. It looked very tatty but its contents were of great importance to him.

Matthew sat up properly and took out a piece of paper from the envelope. It was a letter, a letter that he had read so many times he could recite every word without looking.

_To my beautiful baby boy,_

_I am writing this letter so that you will always know that I love you. My English teacher said I'm not very good with words but I'll give this a try. I'm sitting here in my hospital bed as I am writing this, and you are asleep next to me. I could stare at you forever but I can't. When I found out I was pregnant I was so scared and I'm still scared, I'm only fourteen. I feel like none of this is my choice but it is the best thing for you. A really nice family will adopt you and they will love and take care of you for me. Maybe one day we can meet again if you want to. I am so sorry that I have to do this and I hope that you will forgive me._

_Love forever_

_Your mum _

Every time Matthew read this letter it strengthened his desire to meet this woman. It was strange to think that she was only a child herself when she wrote this. He wasn't angry at her for giving him away. Matthew thought of himself at fourteen and there was no way he would have coped with fatherhood. But reading this letter for what was probably the thousandth time, he always got the feeling that she didn't really want it to happen; it was like she had convinced herself he would be better off without her. It was the last to sentences that he read over and over again. '_maybe one day we can meet_' and ' _I hope that you will forgive me_'.

Of course he could forgive her, it went without saying. Matthew grew up in a loving family with parents that encouraged him and a younger brother he doted on. He had nothing to resent her for. Knowing that she wanted them to meet one day was the thing he had held onto since the first time he had read the letter. Matthew had hoped that this hadn't changed after nineteen years, that she would still want to meet him.

He decided to phone the adoption agency and get the details of who she was and where she lived and was surprised to discover she had already been in contact with them.

It was a difficult decision to make though. The Jones family had suffered a terrible loss just after Matthew's 18th birthday. His mother endured a long and painful illness that sadly claimed her life. During this time he pushed thoughts of finding his birth mother to the back of his head and focused on helping his family through that awful time.

The time was right now though. He hadn't planned how to tell her who he was but it was seeing her for the first time that he looked forward to. Would they look alike, did they have he same eyes? The same nose?

Matthew had never shared with anyone these feelings he had about finding his mother. His confident approach to life often masked his true feelings.

Matthew scanned the letter once more then carefully slid it back in the envelope. He was awake now so he decided to get ready for the day ahead.

The light shone in through the curtains and almost blinded him as he opened them. Was this the right thing to do? There was no turning back now he thought. Roxy seemed friendly and she was obviously family to him, perhaps an aunt or a cousin?

It would be interesting to meet the other members of his mother's family, if there were more. He didn't want to lie to Roxy, it was more like withholding the truth, and it wouldn't be for long.

Since it was still too early for anything else Matthew decided to go for a morning jog to clear his head. He was becoming increasingly nervous about starting work at the Queen Vic. The job was no problem it was a piece of cake pulling pints and changing barrels. He was more concerned with the fact that this was the place where his mother lived. Yesterday he didn't want to hang around and meet her to then jump in straight away and introduce himself as her long lost son. It was a difficult thing to tell someone and he didn't have any friends in London to turn to for advice.

Matthew quickly pulled on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and an old t-shirt, locked his room door and went outside. The B&B wasn't far from Albert Square so he decided to have a jog in the area and get to know his way a bit better.

It was completely dead at this time though, apart from a few like-minded people. There were a couple of young guys about his age running along with their ipod's plugged into there ears and a tall, slim blonde haired woman who appeared to be very focused.

Matthew started panting as he realised he wasn't as fit as he liked to think. Sure he was quite muscular and strong but he hadn't been to the gym in months.

The woman saw him struggling and gave him a fleeting smile before she ran out of sight.

**Hey! Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm so pleased people are interested in this idea. The story will definitely not play out as long as the EE Danielle reveal but I want to create some kind of build up so watch this space! It's exciting to create this whole new character. Review if you can xx**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Matthew Jones was about to start his first day working at the Queen Vic. He couldn't decide what to wear or how to do his hair. Normally Matthew spent about five minutes getting ready in the morning, but today he was eager to impress. The morning jog had wakened him up and he was a little on edge. The mirror on the wall reflected a young man with striking blue eyes and fairly messy sandy blonde hair. He brushed the hair away from his face in an attempt to neaten his appearance.

He took in a deep breath and sat down at the table. For the past few days he had been trying to write down what he would say to his mother when he decided to tell her. It wasn't the easiest of tasks and it had to be right. Matthew was often spontaneous in life but when it came to this he had to give it careful thought. But so far he had only managed to scribble out most of what was written in his notebook. It could wait, he needed this job. With only enough in the bank to pay for the B&B room for a couple of weeks, he needed the money. It wasn't just rent, living in London was expensive but Matthew knew he would manage, he had to.

Making his way down George Street Matthew took in all the sights that Walford had to offer. When he made it to Bridge Street he was looking out for Stacey, the girl he met yesterday. Sure enough she was her stall and looked deep in conversation with a ginger haired man carrying a briefcase. Matthew was so busy looking around that he nearly bumped into an old woman.

"Watch where you're going young man!" The woman cried.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I was daydreaming a bit, can't help it sometimes, my mum used to say my heads always in the clouds," Matthew apologised.

The old woman's expression slowly changed from a frown to a smile. She was carrying two heavy looking bags and it seemed to be a bit of a struggle for her.

"Can I get those for you? They look heavy," Matthew asked politely.

"Oh my, that's very kind of you young man, I'm just going to the laundrette," She said pointing towards it.

"No problem, I'm Matthew by the way." He smiled and shook her hand.

"Dorothy Branning, most people call me Dot or Mrs Branning," she replied. "What a lovely young man you are."

"And a handsome one too!..." A slightly large older woman appeared next to Dot and she was grinning at Matthew.

"Oh behave Pat, he's only a boy," Dot laughed. She looked very unimpressed with this other woman even though she was smiling.

Matthew smiled nervously as he was introduced to another resident of Albert Square. It was a bit of harmless banter but Matthew had gotten the idea that Pat Butcher would probably eat him alive if she got the chance.

He helped Dot with her bags then bid her farewell. It was nearly one O'clock and the last thing he wanted was to be late. Stacey gave him a wave as he walked past the stall. There was something intriguing about this girl, she had a tough exterior but Matthew could sense there was more to her than meets the eye.

Matthew brushed his hands through his hair before entering the Queen Vic. It was relatively quiet which was surprising as it was lunchtime. He quickly surveyed the room looking for Roxy who was leaning over the bar with her tongue down some guy's throat. She spotted him and suddenly stood back releasing herself from the kiss. The man she was with didn't look to friendly Matthew thought. His eyes were rested on Matthew as he stared intently.

"Glad you turned up then," Roxy said beaming. "Come round here and I'll show you the ropes."

Matthew nodded his head slightly and went behind the bar to join Roxy.

"Oh, this is my husband Sean," She introduced the glaring man to Matthew.

"Hi I'm Matthew," he said keenly.

Sean just looked at him clearly unimpressed and quickly downed his drink.

"I'm eh…sure you're gonna love it here, god knows I do," Sean said sarcastically.

Matthew tried not to laugh as he noticed the annoyed look on Roxy's face.

"See you around then," Sean said as he got up to leave.

Roxy grabbed him and they were yet again in the throws of passion as she said goodbye.

This made Matthew feel very uncomfortable but Sean seemed like a nice guy and he was family too.

"Sorry bout that, we're newlyweds," said Roxy proudly. She held out her hand so he could look at her ring.

"Er…Great, congratulations," Matthew said. She began to pull a pint to let him see how it was done.

"Its pretty simple really, here you try," Roxy handed him a pint glass.

"Great you're a natural!" She exclaimed happily.

Roxy went over how to use the till and explained everything else to him that she could think of.

"Thanks, for giving me a chance," Matthew thanked her.

Roxy smiled back at him, they were getting along really well.

"Just wait till you meet the rest of the family, then you'll be wishing you hadn't asked for a job," Roxy laughed.

Matthew hoped this was a joke because these people were his family also.

"Roxy, Roxy!" someone shouted from the hallway.

"Just a minute Matthew, that's my sister shouting," Roxy said.

Matthew's heart was racing, could this possibly be his mother that had just arrived?

"Is dad around!?" she was still shouting.

"In a minute Ron!" Roxy snapped.

"Yes Veronica love, I am here," another voice was coming from the hallway.

It was all a bit too much for Matthew, but she was here, standing in the hallway just out of sight, Veronica Mitchell, Matthew's mother.

**Hey, thanks again for the reviews keep them coming! They have really encouraged me to keep writing. Next chapters gonna be an interesting one :) xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Didn't think I'd be seeing you around here anymore Veronica," said the other voice from the hallway. It was a man's voice that had very harsh and cold tone to it, this man was their father.

"I'm not here to see you!" she snapped at him.

Matthew was listening intently and he was desperate to get a look at these people. They were talking quite loudly so it was easy for him to hear every word that was said.

"Ronnie, aunty peg told you to leave. What are you doing back?" Roxy asked her sister.

"I left some things here last week, don't worry I won't be long," she barked.

"I Know I'm not your favourite person at the moment love, but Peggy and I are getting married. It's such a shame you can't accept that. It's nice to see you though," Matthew could sense that despite his kind words the man had a hint of insincerity about him.

"Oh save your lies! Everyone else in this family will believe them but not me," Ronnie yelled.

"Ronnie, maybe you should just go, come back later if you need to get stuff," Roxy suggested.

"Excuse me, can I have a packet of cheese and onion crisps?" a voice asked from behind the bar.

Matthew had been so interested in Ronnie Mitchell that he had completely forgotten he was supposed to be working. He quickly turned round to serve his first customer.

"Sorry about that, it's my first day," Matthew apologised. He looked for the crisp boxes and saw there were no cheese and onion left.

"I'll have to get a new box, be back in a sec," he assured the customer. The Queen Vic was starting to get crowded as all the regulars began to pour in.

Panicking a little as he would have to get Roxy for help, Matthew ventured into the hallway and was standing only metres away from his birth mother.

Unbeknown to Ronnie, Matthew had been waiting for this moment for most of his life.

"Oh, hi Matthew everything alright? I'll be out in a minute, Tracey should be here soon," Roxy said.

He was frozen to the spot, there she was, Veronica, or rather Ronnie Mitchell. Matthew recognised her instantly, she was his mother. Her hair was golden blonde and her blue eyes were fixed upon his as he couldn't help but stare. Matthew could see himself in this woman, would she see it too?

"What did you want love?" Roxy brought him back to reality.

At the sound of Roxy's voice he suddenly snapped out of his gaze. Ronnie was looking at him with a very confused expression on her face.

"Er…Em cheese and onion crisps!" he belted out.

Roxy let out a little laugh and pointed out the boxes of crisps stacked to the right of him.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Ronnie asked Matthew curiously.

He began to wonder if she did know who he was, but that couldn't be possible surely.

"Yeah I do, I saw you running this morning."

Matthew nodded his head in agreement and tried not to look her in the eye. When he looked at her it felt like he was under a spell, silly really, but true. Nobody had ever had this effect on him before, but nobody else was Ronnie Mitchell. She wasn't what he had expected to find that was for sure. But then again, Matthew didn't really know what to expect. He knew she would be a lot younger than his adoptive mother, but as for what kind of person she was, he was yet to find this out.

Matthew grabbed the box of crisps and made his way back to the bar. It was awkward with too many people around; he wanted to get the chance to talk to her in a less tense atmosphere. Having the chance to get to know her a little would be great, if that could ever be possible without making his interest to obvious to Ronnie or her family.

"Hang on a minute son! We haven't been introduced," the man shouted as he walked away.

"Oh yeah sorry dad, this is Matthew," Roxy introduced him.

"This is my dad Archie."

Archie held out his hand and tightly he gripped Matthew's and shook it. For some reason he instantly disliked this man, it wasn't his cold piercing eyes or his fake smile, but rather it was the way Ronnie looked at him that said it all for Matthew.

She distrusted Archie and wasn't taken in by his charms, and for that reason neither was Matthew.

**Hey! sorry this ones a bit short. Thanks so much for the reviews I'm really pleased that people have taken to this idea. I wasn't sure myself at first but I'm really enjoying writing this. It was always gonna be hard writing the part when Matthew sees his mum for the first time, but I didn't want it to be too mushy so I hope you like it. Review if you can, they make me smile! :) xx**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Seeing Ronnie for the first time had left Matthew feeling intrigued. He wanted so much to know more about his mother and why she wasn't living at the Queen Vic anymore. It was apparent that Ronnie had fallen out with her family and it had something to do with her father Archie. Roxy seemed annoyed at her sister's behaviour whereas Archie was pretending to be concerned about his daughter.

As his shift at the Vic began properly Matthew soon discovered that working there was going to be interesting. Roxy spent most of her time rambling on about Ronnie and how selfish she was being. As soon as Ronnie left in a huff, Roxy had started talking about it to Matthew.

"I mean seriously she thinks that just because she's got a problem with something the whole world should stop!" Roxy exclaimed.

Matthew just kept quiet and let her continue, it was much easier this way. It was obvious that the sisters were very close and that was why Roxy was so affected by Ronnie's behaviour.

"She's always been jealous of me, cause I'm the youngest and she thought I was dads favourite."

While Roxy had become in an increasingly bad mood, Matthew did his best to stop himself from asking her questions about Ronnie. She was acting like a child, and as much as he liked Roxy it wasn't nice to hear her moaning about his mother.

Matthew was relieved when he saw a familiar face walk through the doors.

"Hello Mrs Branning, what can I get you?" he asked pleasantly.

"I'm meeting my grandson here, I'll wait till he gets here," she replied.

"Oh there he is! Bradley come over here and meet this young man."

Bradley was fairly tall, with short ginger hair and a nervous smile on his face. Matthew recognised him as the man Stacey was talking to on the stall earlier on.

"Alright Grandma, what can I get you?" Bradley asked.

"I'll have an orange juice please. Bradley this is Matthew he's just moved here, doesn't know anyone yet," Dot explained.

"Hi, I'm Bradley Branning" he introduced himself to Matthew.

"Nice to meet you Bradley, now what do you do for fun around here?" Matthew said cheekily.

"Well there's R&R, the club just round the corner from here past the market," Bradley told him.

"I think me and Stace are going out for a drink tonight if you fancy it?"

"I wouldn't wanna impose if you've got something planned," said Matthew.

"No of course you're not, I think Callum's coming too, he works on the market. Stacey's my wife, she works there too," Bradley explained.

"Yeah I met her yesterday, asked her if she had any jobs going," Matthew laughed.

"As much as I love Stacey I'm not sure I could work with her," Bradley said amused.

Dot looked happy that they were getting along. She liked this young man and wanted her grandson to make him feel welcome.

"We'll meet you there about 10ish?"

"Yeah sounds good, see you then," said Matthew happily. He was looking forward to having some fun because there was a lot on his mind at the moment.

"You getting on alright?" Roxy said as she approached him.

"Yeah, just met Bradley he's a really nice guy," Matthew told her.

Roxy gave a sort of giggle at the mention of Bradley's name.

"He is a nice guy, too nice for his own good."

"I'm going out with him and Stacey tonight, to R&R," Matthew said.

A frown appeared on Roxy's face and Matthew wondered what was wrong now.

"Well you might have the pleasure of seeing my lovely sister there tonight," Roxy sneered.

Matthew was suddenly curious about what Roxy had to say. Ronnie didn't seem like she was in the mood for going clubbing tonight.

"She owns part of the club, R&R – Ronnie and Roxy. Well it's meant to be that but you know, it explains itself."

So Ronnie would be there tonight, surely if she was part owner she would be there most nights. There was an opportunity for him to at least see her away from her squabbling family. His night was beginning to look a whole lot better. Matthew wanted to try and ask questions that wouldn't make Roxy suspicious, he couldn't help himself.

"So who lives here then?" he asked innocently.

"Well there's me, Sean, My aunty Peggy, Dad, Phil my cousin and his son Ben, Ronnie used to live here but that's a long story, and in the not to distant future there will be someone else joining us," Roxy placed her hands on her stomach making it obvious to him what she meant.

"You're pregnant!" Matthew said cheerfully. It was exciting to think that he would have a little cousin, Ronnie would be an auntie.

"Yep, this little ones probably gonna need years of therapy growing up around this family," she joked.

"So your dad and Peggy, they're getting married?" Matthew asked.

"Yeah, they're great together no matter what Ronnie says," Roxy said defiantly.

"Why doesn't Ronnie think they are?" Matthew was worried he was beginning to cross the line when he saw Roxy's expression change.

"I just wondered….you know cause you were arguing before, I didn't mean to pry."

Roxy smiled again although still looking slightly confused at his interest in her family.

"Its ok, I know you'll probably end up hearing things you shouldn't around here, but keep it to yourself eh?" she said calmly.

Matthew still hadn't got the answers he was looking for, but at least Roxy didn't seem to suspect anything. He spent the rest of his time there thinking about Ronnie and how sad she looked before. Wondering if telling her would either make things better or worse for Ronnie, he decided to wait a little before finding out.

****

Ronnie sat curled up on the sofa in Jacks flat. It seemed like everyone else was happy except for her. Jack and Tanya were together, Roxy and Sean were having a baby and Peggy and Archie had just announced their engagement. The boxes containing her things were still sitting unopened in the corner, and the place didn't look lived in at all. She couldn't stand being around Archie, and Peggy asking her to leave the Vic was the thing that hurt the most. When she had gone round there earlier it wasn't to collect something she had forgotten, it was an excuse to see Roxy and get the chance to talk to her. With Archie around though, that wasn't possible and Roxy would always fall for his charms. Ronnie opened her locket and gazed lovingly at the photo of her baby boy inside it. She had confessed to Peggy that Archie had forced her to give away her beautiful baby boy. She had told her that the pain of losing him was with her every day and that Archie was to blame for it. Peggy had comforted her when she cried and offered her support, then she came from Weymouth with that very same man.

**Hey! Sorry I haven't updated sooner, hope to do it everyday if I can. Thank you again for you're reviews and keep them coming. You'll notice a lot of the story is told from Matthew's point of view but I'm going to be doing a lot more from Ronnie's as well. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After discovering that he might see Ronnie tonight, Matthew was excited as well as anxious. He had only really caught a glimpse of who she was that day and around her family Ronnie wasn't the happiest of people. It was cool to think that his mum owned a night club and although he hadn't seen it yet Matthew was sure it would be a great place. The shift at the Vic wasn't tiring but he did feel exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before. Now he had actually met Ronnie it was all worth it.

Roxy had happily offered him the job and was pleased that he took to it so easily. She had asked him if he wanted to hang around and have a drink with her but when Sean showed up he decided to go home and rest.

Matthew lay down on his bed and glanced over at the many scrunched up bits of paper on the table. How could he possibly find the right words? Ronnie seemed to be fragile at the moment and he was afraid of tipping her over the edge with his life – changing news. But deep down Matthew knew that Ronnie wanted to know her son otherwise she wouldn't have contacted the adoption agency.

He thought about his family in Telford and what they would be doing now. His dad would probably have the barbecue out and his brother Gareth would have his friends around. They had no idea of the real reason why Matthew was in London. They thought he wanted a bit of adventure and decided to go to London and visit friends while he was there. It would hurt their feelings if they knew the truth and Matthew had convinced himself it was better for everyone if he lied.

Matthew arrived at R&R later that night and when he walked inside he looked around to see if Bradley and Stacey were there yet. Standing behind the bar was Ronnie who appeared to be much happier than she was when had met her for the first time. She was serving a customer and was laughing a little. Although it was there to mask the sadness she felt, Matthew loved seeing her smile. He noticed her brush her hair behind her ears and as she did this he saw a very brief look of melancholy appear on her face.

Matthew couldn't see Bradley anywhere so he decided to order a drink at the bar while he waited.

"What can I get you?" Ronnie asked as she approached him.

"Erm…I'll have a vodka and coke please," Matthew replied.

When Ronnie looked at him it was very difficult to hold back his emotions. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone, that he was there for her through whatever she was going through with her family right now.

"That's two pounds please…… you listening? Ronnie was waving her hands in front of his face after she placed the drink down in front of him.

Matthew's mind was a million miles away, even though the person he was thinking about was right in front of him.

"Oh sorry, here you go. Thanks," Matthew said nervously as he handed her the money.

"You alright?! Sorry we're a bit late, got held up," Bradley had just appeared at his side with Stacey behind him.

"That's ok mate, just started without you," Matthew said holding his drink up.

"So you've decided to stick around then?" Stacey asked. She looked very uninterested in her surroundings and Matthew couldn't help but feel sorry for Bradley who was trying his best to keep her happy.

"Yeah this place has its perks," Matthew replied.

Bradley had gone to get their drinks and Matthew could see that Stacey was more relaxed when he wasn't there.

"Not sure I see them myself." Stacey sighed.

"Here you go, shall we try and get a seat? Look there's a table over there," said Bradley eagerly.

As they sat down Matthew couldn't keep his eyes off Ronnie. Everything she did he watched and he was so distracted he hadn't noticed that someone else had joined them. Stacey and Bradley had been cuddled up to each other and Matthew felt like a bit of a third wheel in their presence, so he was glad when a young guy about his age introduced himself.

"Hi I'm Callum," he said cheerfully. He was quite tall and lanky but Callum had a sort of cheeky charm and seemed pretty outgoing.

"I'm Matthew, nice to meet you. Thank god you're here I was about to tell them to get a room," he joked.

Callum didn't seem to find it funny and was looking at Stacey longingly. Matthew wanted to ask Callum if he had a thing for Stacey, but he they had only just met. It was making the situation even more awkward as it became obvious that Stacey was aware of Callums feelings. She would catch him looking in their direction and then start kissing Bradley in response.

"So Matthew, why did you come to London?" Bradley asked. He had managed to tear himself away from Stacey to have a conversation.

"I was visiting friends and decided to stay for a bit, London's not too bad," Matthew lied.

"I'm sure you'll like it round here, I wasn't so sure at first," Bradley assured him.

Matthew nodded his head and smiled in agreement. So far there were many reasons worth sticking around for.

"I'm just gonna go to the toilet, back in a minute," said Matthew quietly.

Standing at the sink Matthew could feel the sweat pouring down his forehead. He was having a good time and was getting on well with his new friends. Matthew had always made friends easily and now was no different but with Ronnie on is mind it wasn't his main objective. He splashed his face with water, looked at himself in the mirror and took in a deep breath.

***

"Jack just leave it!" Ronnie shouted.

"I was only trying to help," Jack said angrily.

"You really don't know anything about my family Jack so just stay out of it!" she yelled back at him.

"Ronnie if you keep pushing people out like this you won't have anyone," he said,"

"What do you care, just go home to your ready-made family!"

Jack backed away from her and sat down at his desk. He kept his eyes on Ronnie as he watched her try to compose herself. She wiped away her tears and put her head in her hands with desperation.

"You don't understand, my dad will ruin everything. We were happy. Roxy's having a baby and I was going to be there with her through it all. Its bad enough she's with Sean, that I can handle but dad……" she tried to explain the reasoning behind her outburst.

"What's so bad about him? I know you two haven't talked in years but I don't get it Ron?" Jack asked curiously. He was trying to be careful with his words, and with Ronnie he had learned how to do this but wasn't always successful.

Matthew had left the toilets and when he walked past a door he saw Ronnie in what looked like an office, talking to a man. She looked upset but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Very gently Matthew pushed the door open a little more than it already was. It was difficult to disguise what he was doing from passers by so he took his phone out and pretended to send a text. It had gotten so busy that it didn't look like anyone suspected him.

"He took something away from me, something that was very precious……" Ronnie cried.

Just then the phone rang and Jack tried to ignore it. He wanted to know what she had to say, what had caused her pain? Why was Archie such a poison in Ronnie's eyes?

Ronnie had had enough though, and in a hurry she stormed out of the office nearly bumping into Matthew on her way out.

"Watch what your doing!" she yelled. "Why are you hanging around outside my office?"

It was clear that she was upset and Matthew was taken aback by her anger. He didn't know what to say but it looked liked Ronnie was venting her anger towards the first person she saw and that just happened to be him.

"I'm sorry….I…."

"Forget it!" Ronnie said as she walked away.

Matthew didn't feel like hanging around and strangely he started to resent Ronnie a little. He could understand her frustration and anger but that didn't mean he had to hang around and witness it. Without saying goodbye to his new found friends, Matthew left the club urgently and tried to put Ronnie out of his mind for now.

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming. I promise that they will be reunited but I'm not saying it's gonna be plain sailing lol. I've got a lot of the story planned so if you do or don't want hints as to what's coming up then let me know : ) xx**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"You ok Matt?" Roxy asked in concern.

Matthew had been very quiet since he arrived that morning and although she didn't know him very well Roxy could sense something was wrong.

"I'm fine, why do u ask?" Matthew lied.

He didn't want to tell her that last night he had a run in with Ronnie that had left him feeling very frustrated. If Roxy had another reason to be annoyed at her sister that would spark off a new rant that he would have to listen to. Matthew tried to keep busy collecting glasses and cleaning tables.

"You just seem a bit quiet," Roxy replied.

"Trust me I'm fine, just had a long day yesterday," he explained.

Roxy nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah this place isn't that exciting. Bet you a good night though? At R&R?" she assumed.

Matthew rolled his eyes when she wasn't looking. It wasn't exactly his idea of a good night out, being the gooseberry and getting yelled at by Ronnie Mitchell.

"It was ok, probably shouldn't have gone with the happy couple though," he sighed.

"Yeah well they haven't always been the happy couple I can assure you," Roxy said quietly.

Matthew was intrigued, it didn't look like Bradley and Stacey had problems but then again with Callum sniffing around perhaps they were about to.

"I just wanted to have some fun really," Matthew continued.

Roxy leaned over the bar and a huge grin appeared on her face.

"How about you come out with me? I'm supposed to meet my mate Christian at the club tonight, no couple's just friends."

Matthew was a little sceptical. After all Roxy was pregnant and still annoyed at her sister, he didn't want to witness another Mitchell family feud.

"You sure that's a good idea, in your condition?" Matthew asked.

"Well I won't be drinking obviously, just having some fun like you said!" she exclaimed.

Matthew started laughing at Roxy's carefree attitude. He didn't normally make friends with women ten years older than him but Roxy was so welcoming. She had been the only person since arriving in walford that he felt he could actually talk to. The only problem was though; she was his aunt and Ronnie's sister. There was no way he could tell her why he was here.

"How can I refuse then!" Matthew said happily.

It was pretty quiet in the Vic that afternoon and bored with the silence Roxy decided to liven things up.

"Oh I love this song!" she screeched.

The sound of Katie Perry singing 'I kissed a girl' echoed through the walls of the queen Vic and disgruntled the regulars sitting in the corners.

Roxy started dancing behind the bar and motioned for Matthew to join her. He was hesitant at first but when he started to relax and let go he had fun. Just as he twirled Roxy round a few times the door of the Vic burst open and Peggy and Archie were standing there. Peggy looked less than impressed with the blaring music and her staff dancing behind the bar. Archie was doing his best to hide the smile on his face.

"What's going on here?" Peggy asked sternly.

Matthew let go of Roxy's hands and pretended to look for something behind the bar. This was the first of him meeting Peggy and despite her size she made him very nervous.

"Just trying to liven the place up a bit aunty Peg, it's dead in here!" Roxy shouted over the music.

"There just having a bit of fun love," Archie said placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Well you could at least put some decent music on!" she raised her voice as her expression changed from a frown to a smile.

Matthew noticed that there was something odd about the way Archie had managed to change Peggy's mind so quickly. He has simply placed his hand on her shoulder and in response she agreed with him. Although Peggy was smiling it looked unnatural and slightly forced.

"I don't think we've met, I'm Peggy Mitchell," she introduced herself.

"I'm Matthew Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Mitchell," Matthew said turning on the charm.

It was obvious that Peggy had warmed to him straight away as she gave him a cheeky wink. Matthew saw Archie give him a disapproving look then a nod as if to say hello.

He forced a smile back; similar to the one Peggy wore.

"Matt you can just finish now if you want, there's no point in you standing around with nothing to do," Roxy said.

Normally he would have been happy to finish work early and go and enjoy the nice weather like everyone else, but he needed the money.

"I don't mind honest," he assured her.

"Nonsense! Your young, go and enjoy the day. We'll have more shifts for you later in the week. Dad and aunty peg have been out and about loads so I need the help," she said.

"We're just enjoying being in love," Archie said coolly.

Peggy beamed at her fiancé grabbed on to his arm lovingly.

"Yes we are, you're dads been treating me," Peggy held up the many bags of shopping in her hand.

"So we'll see you tonight then, just come whenever you're ready we'll be there for ages. Gotta enjoy the nights out before I don't have the chance anymore," Roxy said placing her hand on her stomach.

"What about Sean, won't he wanna come?" Matthew asked.

"It's not really his thing; well he won't wanna go there. I told him I wanted a night out so he'll just have to deal with it!" she said happily.

"Ok then, well I think I might go for a walk, explore this place before I get back to the B&B," Matthew said.

"See you later love," Peggy waved him goodbye.

Archie continued to stare at him which made Matthew feel very uncomfortable. He figured he was right about Archie and so was Ronnie. Maybe if he just told her that he understood, tried to connect with her.

He noticed Stacey on the stall and it looked like she was packing up for the day.

"Hey! Matthew! Where did you get to last night? You went to the loo then disappeared," Stacey yelled.

"Hi, sorry about last night I just had to rush off and do something I'd forgotten about," he explained.

Stacey didn't look convinced by his excuse and she raised her eyebrows.

"Really? Could of sworn I saw you talking to Ronnie Mitchell. What did the ice queen have to say then?" she said chuckling.

Matthew looked down at the ground and tried to avoid the subject of Ronnie. At least there was one Mitchell he got along with and he'd only known Roxy for a couple days.

"Its nothing, doesn't matter," he muttered.

"So what you up to later?" Stacey asked.

"Going out with Roxy and her mate, should be fun. Come along if you want?" Matthew replied. He had already guessed the answer because it seemed like wherever she went Bradley would almost certainly accompany her.

"Nah I'll give it a miss. I know she's married to my brother but that doesn't mean I have to like her," said Stacey.

"Sean's your brother?" Matthew said surprised.

"Yeah, feel kinda sorry for him now he's part of the Mitchell family," she laughed.

Matthew was slightly offended by Stacey's words but he didn't show it. Instead he pretended to laugh along with her.

"They're not that bad," he assured her.

"Yeah well, have a good time. Catch you later in the week for a drink?"

"Sure, what's your number?" he asked.

They were innocently exchanging numbers when suddenly Bradley interrupted they're conversation.

"Alright, what's going on here?" Bradley asked suspiciously.

"Just getting his number so we can arrange going out again sometime. All of us," she replied in an annoyed tone of voice.

Matthew was feeling awkward as it was clear that Bradley wasn't very trusting of his wife. He didn't want to make any assumptions but Matthew thought there must be a reason for this. Bradley had been looking over at Callum on the fruit and veg stall and he seemed very anxious.

"Well I better get going, see you guys for a drink sometime," Mathew couldn't wait to get away from the awkward situation.

He decided to walk through the gardens in the middle of the square and was surprised to see Ronnie sitting on Arthur's Bench. She was gazing into space completely unaware of what was going on around her. Matthew was apprehensive at first but he made the decision to approach her, just to say hello.

"Hi Ronnie," he said tensely.

Ronnie looked up to see who had just spoken to her and Matthew could see she was clearly upset.

"Oh hi, sorry I'm in my own little world I didn't see you," she said softly.

It was such a difference from the Ronnie he bumped into last night. She was quiet and vulnerable, emotional but not angry or irrational.

Matthew shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think of something to say.

"Sometimes being in a dream world is much better than real life," he said calmly.

Ronnie smiled at him, very faintly but it was definitely a smile.

"I think you're right," she replied.

"Sorry about last night, I was having a bad day."

Matthew cautiously sat down next to her and was glad when she didn't seem to mind.

"We all have those," he assured her.

Ronnie let out a little laugh and turned her head to face him.

"How are you finding it at the Vic then?" Ronnie asked.

"It's alright, your family are nice," he replied.

"Depends who in my family your talking about," she said sarcastically.

"Anyway I better go, see you around."

Matthew was disappointed that she had to leave, but he felt like he had made progress. He was a little closer to his mother and that was all that mattered.

**Hey! Sorry I've been slow updating, had internet problems. I have some hints about what's coming up for the story. Please please review if you can I'd love your thoughts and suggestions as its going to be a long term thing, got loads to come.**

**Coming soon…….**

**A face from Matthew's past comes back to haunt him**

**Something happens that causes him to turn to Ronnie for support and they bond a little.**

**Matthew discovers one of Archie's secrets**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"_Do you know what its like to give away your own flesh and blood? Hand my little boy over to complete strangers, so they could love him and take care of him instead of me?"_

"_Then why did you do it?"_

"_Because you made me do it"_

"_Did I? Did I hold the pen and force you to sign those papers? No, it was your choice"_

"_you told me it was the right thing to do, you promised me everything would be ok between me and you. No more fighting, no more tears. Then after he'd gone you just left me"_

"_It so easy to blame somebody else Ronnie, why don't you just face it? You made a choice, a bad choice"_

Ronnie was sitting in her office at the club replaying the conversation with her father in her head over and over again. His words had cut through her like a knife, how could he be so cruel as to blame her for giving away her son? Archie had practically forced her to do it, and convinced her that afterwards everything would be ok. But that was all a lie; he liked to control people, especially his family. When Ronnie left home, left him, she never looked back. Ronnie caught a glimpse of the real Archie when they were in Weymouth though. The Archie that rarely revealed himself to others. Around Peggy and Roxy he was the perfect gentlemen, but Ronnie always brought out the worst in him, the person he really was deep down. His threats didn't scare her though; nothing could anymore because everything that mattered to her was gone. Her baby was dead and nothing had pleased Archie more than informing her of the tragedy. Ronnie barely had a reason to get out of bed in the morning but she did, she was stronger for facing him

She carefully opened the clasp on her locket and kissed the photograph of baby boy. At least he never had to know Archie, which was the only good thing to come out of this. Ronnie wanted so badly to get through to her sister and warn her that their father would try to control her life and her unborn child's, but Roxy wouldn't listen, she never listened.

He would have been nineteen by now if he had lived, she couldn't imagine what it would have been like to raise him on her own. But she would have done it, given him the world if she could. He would have been handsome and tall, maybe with blue eyes like hers. Probably popular with the girls and would have had loads of friends. Maybe he would have been sporty or even academic; it seemed like such a waste of a life to have been lost so young.

Ronnie thought about trying to contact the family who adopted him but the more she thought about the more it seemed like it would be too painful for both of them. She wanted to maybe see a picture of him, have something to keep and remember what little memory she had of him. Perhaps another time when she felt ready Ronnie would face her past.

"Ronnie, any chance you can give us a hand out here? Its getting really busy," Jack had just walked in the room unaware he had interrupted her train of thought.

Ronnie quickly closed the locket and hid it underneath her top, but it was obvious Jack knew she was hiding something.

"You ok? About last night…..if you wanna talk and finish what you were……."

"Its fine Jack, I'm fine. I'll be out in a sec," Ronnie snapped at him.

"Ok, well jut to let you know that….. Roxy's out there," he hesitated.

Jack left the room and Ronnie sat once again contemplating her life.

It felt like she had to put on a mask every night before she went out there to face reality. Ronnie loved her job at the club but she didn't want that to be her whole life.

****

"Get these down you!" Roxy shouted over the music.

Matthew almost choked as he downed his third shot of tequila.

"Hey just cause you can't drink doesn't mean you should get everyone else twice as drunk!" Christian said happily.

Roxy glared at him as she took a gulp of her orange juice.

"Only joking, you sure you're ok to be out Rox?" Christian asked in concern.

Roxy looked like she was about to fall asleep as she propped herself up on the bar stool and tried no to look how she felt.

"I'm fine just a bit tired," she assured him.

"Fancy a dance then, not sure I can stand for long!" Matthew said laughing.

Roxy and Christian could barely contain their laughter at the sight of Matthew's drunken dancing. He could hold down his drink but when he mixed them that was a whole other situation. Normally Matthew was the one helping his mates home at the end of a night out but tonight he was the one that would need the help.

"No..No more for me Rox," he stuttered quietly.

They had been laughing and joking until Roxy noticed Ronnie at the other end of the bar. She was looking over at them and trying not to make eye contact.

"I'm not drinking Ron don't worry, I'm being a good mother!" Roxy said loudly as her sister approached.

"I never said a word but you do look tired," she replied.

"Just leave it eh, I'm having fun sitting here with my orange juice," Roxy said sarcastically.

Ronnie rolled her eyes at her sister; she didn't have the energy to argue anymore. Roxy would realise the truth one day and until then Ronnie would have to keep her eye on Archie.

"Is he ok?" Ronnie said pointing at Matthew

"What huh? I'm fine just had one to many tequilas," he laughed.

"Well get home safe ok?" Ronnie said firmly.

"Ron stop mothering the boy for god's sake," Roxy said irritably.

**Hey thanks for your reviews! The first part of the chapter is based on the archie/Ronnie scene in Weymouth which I've changed a bit. Sorry again for not updating everyday but I will try to. I hope people still like this, it will become more dramatic but it's about the build up too. I haven't had many reviews for the last couple of chapter so I hope its not gotten to boring lol. I get so excited reading you reviews so please let me know what you think : ) xx**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"No I can't, just stop calling me, stop texting just stay out of my life!" Matthew said angrily. He threw his mobile phone across the room until it hit the wall and shattered on the floor.

The effect of his drinking the night before was beginning to set in after he awoke form yet another restless night. Matthew had strolled in at around three in the morning and somehow managed to find his way home. There were clothes draped over the armchair by the window and a bunch of loose change was lying all over the floor.

The person on the other end of the phone had only worsened his headache and made him more irritable. It had been a good night though, what he could remember of it anyway.

Matthew picked up his watch to check the time. He couldn't believe that he had slept almost all of the afternoon, it was nearly four. These were the consequences of a heavy weight on your mind he thought, he hadn't drunk like that in a long time. But there was no shift at the Vic today, he could relax and distance himself from the Mitchells for a while. He looked over at the phone he had just destroyed in anger.

"Crap, just crap. Well done Matt," he said to himself disappointedly.

There was a grumbling noise coming from his stomach and as much as he wanted to satisfy his hunger, Matthew felt an overwhelming urge to be sick. He stopped himself from letting it out and attempted to stand up but was unsuccessful despite his efforts.

To his dismay the phone began ringing that annoying tune that forced him to get up and walk across the room. Luckily the phone was still working but unluckily he didn't want to speak to the person who was calling him at that moment.

"Just leave me alone," he muttered under his breath. There was harshness to his tone of voice as he spoke and Matthew hated feeling this way but there were some things in his past that wouldn't disappear.

His thoughts turned to Roxy and how much he had enjoyed spending time with her. She was at the moment the next best thing to spending time with Ronnie. If only she was more outgoing and relaxed then maybe he would have befriended her straight away like he did with Roxy.

Ronnie was complicated, and it hadn't taken him long to realise this. Her family were against her but that didn't stop Matthew from wanting to know them either. But why did Ronnie hate Archie so much? What had he done to her that was so bad? Matthew got an uneasy felling around Archie so he understood that part but why did Ronnie reject him completely?

He could vaguely remember seeing her last night at the club, but as far as he could recall they hadn't really spoken. He decided to get dressed and make the most of wha was left of the day.

****

"You alright babe?" Roxy asked her husband.

Sean was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper but he seemed anxious.

"I'm just don't think last night was a good idea Rox, you look exhausted.

Roxy sighed and tried to ignore his concerns. She loved how much Sean cared for her but sometimes he could be difficult to please.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me," Roxy assured him.

"I can take care of myself."

"Its no you I'm worried about," he muttered under his breath.

"Sean! If you've got something to say then please don't hold back," Roxy yelled. Her mood swings were very unpredictable but Sean usually took no notice of her when she was like this. He loved Roxy more than anything but this baby was the most important thing he had ever done in his life, and he wanted to protect them both.

"Trouble in paradise?" Archie said cynically. He walked in during their argument with a smug expression on his face. Sean wanted nothing more than to wipe away that smug look but he didn't want to upset Roxy or make her take sides.

Sean reached for his wife's hand and caressed it gently giving her an apologetic look at the same time.

"Nothings wrong, we were having a private conversation," Sean said impatiently.

"Well there's not much chance of that around here," Archie said cheerily.

"D'you want a cuppa? Your aunty pegs not feeling well so I'm being the dutiful fiancé."

"I was just saying to Sean that I think we should have a romantic meal tonight," Roxy lied.

Sean glanced at her, surprised that Roxy had plans for them for tonight. Or was it just to cover up their problems from Archie. He didn't have any money to take his wife out and this angered him deeply. Job hunting wasn't easy when everyone wanted to hire someone with experience and Sean didn't have much of that.

"Rox, we can't afford to go out. Maybe I could cook you something?" Sean whispered. He didn't want Archie to over hear that he was skint, he would love that. It would give him another reason to swoop in and take over.

Roxy smiled at Sean lovingly and gazed into his eyes. Sean was a good husband no matter what people said about him Roxy knew he would be a good father too.

"I'd love that, not sampled much of your cooking," she laughed.

"Here treat yourselves love, I'll be taking care of Peggy and Shirley and Phil can handle the bar. Go and have a nice meal on me," said Archie as he handed her some cash.

Roxy was grateful for her dad's generosity but when she saw the look on Sean's face she pushed his hand away.

"Thanks dad, but we'll have a night in. It's nice of you to offer though," Roxy said disappointedly.

Sean smiled at her, he was glad that Archie had been unsuccessful in his attempts to manipulate his daughter. Of course he had been listening when Sean tried to whisper, Archie was always there listening in on everything.

"Go on love, you won't wanna be around when Peggy's not well, not in your condition," he said convincingly.

Roxy hesitated a little, it would be good for them to go out for dinner, get some time away from the family. She looked over at Sean who seemed to have given up competing with Archie. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in frustration. It was like Archie enjoyed making him feel inadequate.

"Ok then, it'll be good to out babe, just you and me," She replied happily.

Sean was livid thought, Archie answer to everything was to throw some money at it and get what he wanted.

"Right well that's sorted then, better get this to Peggy or I'll be in trouble," Archie joked.

Roxy waited until he had left the room and she tried to make Sean understand.

"Sean look we get a night away from this lot, peace and quiet," she reminded him.

"Don't bother Rox, just don't bother!" Sean exclaimed. He stood up abruptly and waked out leaving Roxy wondering how on earth she could sort things between her husband and her father.

****

"Watch it!" Sean shouted as he bumped into Matthew on his way into the Café.

"Sorry mate didn't see you there," Matthew apologised.

It was Sean who had burst in there and pushed himself past him but Matthew could see he was in a bad mood.

Matthew had decided that a good meal would sort him out although he still looked a bit rough from the night before.

"I'm sorry, just not in the best of moods right now," Sean replied.

Sean didn't strike Matthew as the sort of person who apologised much so he took it as a good sign.

"I was just on my way home, but if you wanna have a coffee I'm a pretty good listener," Matthew asked hesitantly. He still didn't know what to make of Sean and wasn't sure if inviting him to have coffee was a good move.

Sean's forehead creased a little as if he were thinking it over before responding.

"Sure why not? You sure you want to be in my company?" Sean asked.

Matthew laughed awkwardly and followed Sean back into the café. Sean sat down in the corner away from the eyes of others, he hated this place sometimes.

"Archie Mitchell, I wish he would just…….." Sean sighed.

"I get a weird feeling from him, not sure if it means anything," Matthew chipped in.

"Oh it means something, it feels like Roxy Is the only one who can't see it," Sean explained.

"I take it its not easy living there then, you know with her family," Matthew enquired.

Sean rolled his eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Yeah you could say that, but hopefully it won't be for long. When the baby's born we can move away from all of this," Sean said enthusiastically.

"Seems like her sister feels the same way as you do about him?" Matthew said curiously. Ronnie was always on his mind, so any information he could get would be helpful.

"What? That nosy cow, yeah she hates his guts. Guess that's the only good thing about him being here, she won't be sniffing around causing trouble between me and Rox. There's always someone in the Mitchell family sticking their nose in where it isn't wanted," Sean said.

Matthew took a sip of his coffee as Sean continued to complain about the Mitchells and explained his plans for Roxy and his child. It was good that Roxy had someone who loved her so much, Matthew wondered if Ronnie had ever had someone who loved her like that.

**Hey guys! Aw I'm so pleased you like this fic, thanks for the reviews and keep them coming. ******** xx**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"That'll be two pounds twenty please," Patrick said holding out an open hand.

Matthew fumbled in his pockets desperate trying to pull out all of the loose change he had. Money was tight at the moment and with only a few shifts a week at the Vic he was barely scraping by. The money in his bank account was all he had to pay for the B&B for the next couple of weeks, any other things he needed would have to wait but he had to eat.

"Sorry bout this, I know I've got another quid in here somewhere," he said apologetically.

Patrick didn't seem to mind the delay but there was somebody waiting behind him in the queue that did.

"Hey come on mate I need to be somewhere. Hurry up!" a voice shouted from behind him.

"Its ok man, just take the sandwich and pay me later. You good for it eh?" Patrick said happily.

Matthew hesitated a little; he was embarrassed that he couldn't even afford to buy a sandwich without dipping into his savings.

"Thanks so much, I'll come in later. Sorry again," he replied miserably.

"Finally, I can get some service," the man said arrogantly.

Matthew wanted to give him a good smack across the face but decided not to waste his energy.

"Alright Jack, give the boy a break. We all go through times like that," Patrick said reassuringly. He gave Matthew a friendly wink and nodded his head approvingly.

Matthew recognised Jack as the man he saw talking to Ronnie at the club the other night. She had appeared to be very upset at the time and Jack looked like the type of guy you wouldn't want to mess with. He hoped that Ronnie was ok, that this man hadn't upset her.

"What is it?" Jack asked when he caught Matthew looking in his direction.

"Nothing, just thought I recognised you from somewhere," Matthew said abruptly.

Jack grinned and walked towards him.

"Well you might have done, I run R&R the club down there," he boasted.

Matthew pretended to look interested by this information but he found Jack really annoying.

"Better get off then, job hunting today," Matthew sighed.

"Thought you just started working at the Vic? Saw you the other day didn't I?" asked Patrick.

"Yeah, but it's not enough to get by. Just looking for something else too," he explained.

Matthew could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and it gave him the perfect excuse to leave and get away from Jack. He walked through the market giving Stacey a wave on his travels and answered his phone on the way.

"Hello?"

"Matt just listen….." the voice was cut off when he hung up the phone immediately.

But the caller was persistent with him and Matthew became so annoyed that he almost threw his phone again.

"Look if you don't stop calling I'm going to change my number," he whispered down the phone.

"Matt please we need to talk!" the voice cried.

He was becoming very impatient and wanted to just escape from so many things that seemed to be following him. Matthew sat down on the swing at the play park and tried to make sense of what he was going to do. Working at the Vic was great; he got on so well with Roxy and Peggy. Even when Archie was around it wasn't a bad place to work. Would he have to give it all up and go home if things didn't work out? He had come here for a reason and he had to see it through for both of them.

Matthew pulled out his wallet and looked at a photograph of his family. His father Andy had his arms round his sons and Matthew's mother was smiling back at him in front of them. They meant so much to him and he was beginning to feel guilty about following his own path in life without them. His mother Lizzie was always the one who understood him the best. She used to tell him that one day he would find a girl and fall in love, but Matthew knew that it wasn't that simple. He found this out the hard way. If only he had his mum to talk to now.

"I miss you so much," he whispered softly as he brushed his fingers over the photo. Matthew kept the things most precious to him close to his heart. The letter Ronnie wrote for him when she gave him away was also tucked away in the tatty envelope inside his wallet along with the family photo.

Matthew had still been attempting to write a letter of his own but it was proving very difficult to put his thoughts into words.

The hunger he had felt before began to subside as got a feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He didn't know if it was a bug or the fact that he was thinking of Ronnie that made him feel this way.

Yesterday he had strangely had a conversation with Sean whom despite his menacing smile wasn't too bad. He didn't care for the way Sean talked about Ronnie though but didn't want to give anything away and kept quiet. Matthew wished he hadn't though; Ronnie didn't deserve to be spoken of like that. If Sean said anything like that again Matthew was determined her would put him in his place.

The sandwich lay forgotten on the ground as Matthew like a lost boy wondered away from the park. Walking past R&R he noticed Ronnie was signing for a delivery and she looked a little harassed.

"Thanks, could you bring all of these in?" she asked the delivery man politely.

"Sorry love I'm late for my next drop off," he replied.

"For gods sake it's your job!" Ronnie yelled annoyed.

The man shrugged his shoulders before getting into the van and driving off leaving her with heavy boxes to carry inside. Ronnie attempted to lift one of the crates but it was clear she was struggling. Matthew ran over and when she looked up from her crouched position she saw he was taking it from her.

"Let me get this, you don't wanna do your back in lifting these," he said smiling.

Ronnie smiled back at him still unsure why he was so eager to help.

"Thanks, Jack was supposed to be here but I dunno where he's got to," Ronnie complained.

"Sometimes I swear it's like I'm running this place all on my own."

"I saw him at the shop, he looked like he was in a hurry," Matthew said awkwardly.

"I don't even care anymore. Would you mind helping me? I'd be so grateful we've got an event on tonight," she said kindly

"No problem, I'll leave them next to the bar?" he said keenly.

Ronnie laughed a little, she thought he was a little odd but Matthew seemed like a true gentleman.

"Thanks I'll just be a minute I'm gonna check the orders ok," she said.

Matthew hoisted the crate up into his arms and made his way down to the bar. It was weird to see the club lit up and in silence. He glanced all around in a bit of a day dream; he couldn't believe they might have the chance to talk now.

"You alright, just dump them anywhere!" Ronnie shouted as she walked down the stairs.

"Matthew? Hello anybody in there? You can put the crate down now," she said sounding puzzled.

"Sorry, my minds all over the place," he replied quietly.

Ronnie seemed concerned when she saw his expression. She knew what it was like to feel lost and Matthew looked that way.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Nothing much, just money worries. Been looking for another job," Matthew said anxiously.

"Thought you were working at the Vic. Did that not work out?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah I just need another job, need more money," he joked unconvincingly.

He could see that Ronnie had a look of pity on her face. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him, and he didn't want to ask his family for help.

"I know you already work at a bar but we could always use extra help around here sometimes. When it's busy and we have events on, usually need more people at the weekend. I could give you some shifts now and then? It's not much but…."

"Yeah that would be great!" he came out with it so quickly it made Matthew a little embarrassed.

"Great, well give me your number and I'll let you know," she said contently.

Matthew was ecstatic but tried his best not to show it. He helped Ronnie with the rest of the crates and now his outlook had become much more positive. Ronnie had made him feel better so easily, just being around her made Matthew happier than he had been in long time.

**Hey! Thanks for your reviews, keep them coming. I know that the Matthew/Sean being kind of friends seemed strange but trust me it will play its part later on ******** I'm trying to have more subtle Ronnie/Matthew moments so I hope you like them! xx**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"So seriously you're saying your brother actually stole your dad's keys and went joyriding in his car when he was eight?" Stacey laughed in disbelief.

"Yep and worst of all I got blamed for not keeping and eye on him!" Matthew exclaimed.

The two had been exchanging stories for almost two hours and were getting to know each other better over a drink in the Vic. Bradley was supposed to meet them after his work but was obviously running late.

"I'm really glad we did this," Matthew said smiling.

"Yeah who knew both of our families are absolutely nuts, it's a wonder we're sane," Stacey joked.

Matthew had been in Walford for almost two weeks now and he finally felt like he had settled in. He and Roxy got on like a house on fire and she was always looking out for him, making sure things were ok.

"You two gonna get another drink? You've been sitting with the same ones for over an hour!" Roxy shouted over when she spotted them.

"Same again if you don't mind bringing it over!" he yelled back sarcastically.

Roxy just laughed at him, she was fond of Matthew and he was like a little brother she enjoyed teasing but had a laugh with too.

"Chancing your luck there," she replied grinning.

"Same again?" he asked Stacey as he stood up.

"Yeah thanks," she said quietly.

Stacey had been looking at her phone, probably waiting for a text from Bradley and she appeared to be anxious.

"He's probably just got caught up with work," Matthew reassured her.

She smiled faintly at him then returned her attentions to the phone that just vibrated.

"You remembered you're working tomorrow, at opening. So if you get hammered tonight I'm gonna have fun with you tomorrow!" Roxy said happily.

"Not been doing much drinking, just chatting to Stacey really," Matthew explained.

Roxy raised her eyebrows as if she was alarmed about something.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"I shouldn't say really," she said coyly.

Sean was at the other end of the bar dealing with a huge crowd of football fans who wanted to be served. She glanced around to make sure nobody was looking.

"Well you know Bradley's dad Max, Stacey was only having an affair with him while she was married to Bradley," Roxy whispered.

Matthew was taken aback, surely this wasn't true. He didn't want to judge Stacey because of something that happened in the past but it was pretty shocking.

"You're kidding," Matthew whispered back.

He felt guilty for discussing Stacey while she was sitting only a few feet away from him. It explained a lot though, why Bradley was so edgy sometimes and his dislike of callum.

"And when Max's wife found out……."

"Its ok Rox, I don't need to know the details," Matthew interrupted her.

Roxy looked slightly miffed as he walked away with their drinks. She was always up for a good gossip but it was obvious that Matthew wasn't interested it that particular subject.

"Here we go," he handed her a drink and smiled trying to forget what he had just been told. Stacey was a good person and they were getting along well he didn't want to spoil that by prying into her past.

"Bradley should be here any minute," she said miserably.

"Oh I'll get him a drink in then," Matthew said enthusiastically.

"Nah don't bother, I dunno what he'll want," she said bored.

Matthew recognised that something was wrong and he wanted to help Stacey but didn't know if should get involved.

"Everything ok with you two? I'm not being nosy honest, but you just seem a bit down now," he asked empathetically.

Stacey let out a fake laugh and nodded her head. She sipped from her drink then folded her arms.

"How long you got?" she said coldly.

Matthew wasn't sure how to continue, had he just opened a can of worms? Stacey and Bradley's relationship really was none of his business but he liked them both.

"So sorry I'm late. I got held up at the last minute but I'm here now," Bradley had just appeared and seemed to be in an upbeat mood.

Matthew patted him on the back and gave him a friendly smile. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy after what Roxy had just told him.

"What can I get you mate? This one's on me," Matthew asked cheerily.

"I'll have a pint, cheers" Bradley replied smiling.

Matthew had been eager to get away from the table the very second Bradley arrived as he could tell the atmosphere was going to become very tense.

"What can I get you?" Sean asked as Matthew approached the bar.

"Just a pint please," he replied.

"You seem to be getting pretty friendly with my sister over there," Sean enquired as he pulled the pint.

Matthew looked over at their table where he could see Stacey and Bradley who looked like they were arguing.

"That's cause we are friends," he said innocently.

"Just a word of warning, don't go getting involved in that train wreck," Sean said with a more serious tone.

Matthew didn't know whether to take this as advice or a warning to stay away from his sister. Sean had been mildly friendly towards him the other day but Matthew was surprised to hear him practically discourage his sister's relationship with her husband. There were obvious problems there and it was clear than despite his methods Sean was only looking out for his sister.

"Honestly, we're just mates. I've only just moved here and I'm making friends," Matthew assured him.

Sean handed him the pint and without looking at Matthew again he walked away and started mucking around with Roxy.

Sean was a bit of an enigma, but he wasn't as intimidating as he seemed.

"Thanks mate, how's it going? Stacey told me you managed to get another job, that's great!" Bradley congratulated him.

Matthew had almost forgotten about that, he was going to be working at the club tomorrow night. Ronnie had rang him that morning with the news that they had an event on that night and would need extra staff. There was also a possibility of him working behind the bar for a couple of shifts because a member of staff had just left.

"Yeah it's great, hopefully I can get some cash to live off more than beans on toast," he joked.

"Ahh well its not easy finding a right job, I know that. I wonder why I spent time studying in school when all they want these days is experience," Bradley said confidently.

Stacey looked unimpressed by this statement as she rolled her eyes and looked away in boredom. Matthew was a bit annoyed that she treated him in this way, was it all a front? Had they really gotten past what had apparently happened between Stacey and her Father in law.

Matthew could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and excited that it might be Ronnie he left the happy couple and made his way outside.

When he saw the name displayed on the screen Matthew was disappointed to see it wasn't Ronnie, but somebody else who he really didn't want to speak to.

"I've told you a hundred times to leave me alone. I thought you had gotten the message!" he yelled down the phone.

"Matt, you need to listen to me. I can't tell you what I need to say over the phone, I need to see you in person. Its very important….."

"I've heard enough, I'm sick of you trying to talk to me. Whatever it is I don't want to hear it!"

Matthew shoved his phone back in his pocket then tried to release his anger by kicking the wall. This didn't work as it only caused him more pain. He re-entered the Vic and put a convincing smile on his face as he tried to forget what has made him so angry.

**Hey! I've kinda moved the story on a little, it won't always be like that but there was only so much I could write bout his first week on the square lol. I would really love your feedback about where the story is going, what you might like to see etc. I have so many plans for this and the mystery caller will be revealed in the next couple of chapters. Thanks for you reviews and keep them coming! xx**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Matthew was sitting on a battered old stool by the piano in the queen Vic. He had almost forgotten his troubles as he sat with a tattered book of old sheet music, some of which he could play remembering them from school. The pub was just about to open and Peggy was frantically rushing around upstairs trying to arrange her and Archie's engagement party for the beginning of the next week. Matthew wondered if Ronnie would be invited, would she even want to come? Probably not. He thought it would be best to keep out of the way partly because Peggy wasn't in a great mood and Archie gave him that strange feeling whenever they were in each others presence.

"You gonna do any work today?" Roxy said as she placed both hands on his shoulders.

Matthew looked up from his daze and smiled apologetically at her.

"Sorry Roxy, daydreaming again," he replied vaguely.

"You're not too bad at that," she said eyeing the piano.

"Yeah, my mum taught me when I was little, and I played a bit in school," Matthew said thoughtfully. There were many things that reminded him of his late mother, none more than music did.

"Bet she's proud of you," Roxy said happily as she ruffled his hair.

"I wouldn't know," he whispered softly as she walked away.

Roxy was only working behind the bar for a few hours today and Matthew wasn't looking forward to the prospect that Archie would be joining him later on.

"Matt, you ok?" Roxy asked with a very serious expression on her face.

He didn't want Roxy to pity him and he couldn't burden her with his problems.

"Me? yeah! Just a bit hung-over," he laughed unconvincingly.

Roxy didn't look convinced but she carried on loading the till with change but kept her eyes on Matthew as he opened the doors to the day's first customers.

He was working at R&R tonight. Ronnie was hosting a fundraising event for the local children's hospital and she needed staff to hand out drinks and appetisers. It wasn't exactly Matthew ideal way of spending time with Ronnie but it would give him a chance to be near her, to come closer to telling her who he was.

"Hmmmm…..can't wait to go shopping later," Roxy sighed. She was leaning on the bar with her head rested in her hands.

"Dads gonna treat me to some new clothes, won't exactly fit in these much longer."

Matthew suddenly felt more cheerful as he realised he wouldn't have to work with Archie later, that was one awkward afternoon he didn't need right now.

****

The day had been pretty uneventful for Matthew. He was working with Shirley until six and as nice as she was; Matthew couldn't help but be a little scared by her attitude. He was certain that she had been flirting with him and although it was probably a joke he didn't really know how to react.

Roxy had come parading in with bags of shopping, much like Peggy had when Archie took her shopping. She was overjoyed with her new clothes amongst other items her father had bought for her. Matthew felt sorry for Sean who was clearly annoyed by Archie's willingness to throw money at Roxy to prove his love. He had pretended to be impressed with her new outfits when Roxy showed them to everyone but it was obvious that Sean did not feel that way.

Matthew had tried to get some sleep before his busy night ahead at the club but it was still proving difficult for him to relax. He stared at himself in the mirror as he buttoned up the smart black shirt he had ironed especially for the night. There was a desire to impress Ronnie that Matthew could not suppress. He wanted to look smart and professional, to be a young man and a son she could be proud of.

****

"Good, glad you're here. Just go through to the VIP room, the caterers are setting up in there," Ronnie greeted Matthew as he arrived at the club.

As she walked past him, Matthew wanted to grab her and stop her from walking away, he wanted to tell her the truth but something was stopping him, the fear of the unknown was growing stronger

"Yeah, sure," he said quietly knowing she had already gone.

"Hi, my names Lisa. Done one of these before?" she asked curiously. The girl had approached him enthusiastically smiling.

"Nah, but it should be a piece of cake right?" he replied assumingly.

"Usually, plus you can get some free drinks out of it!" she whispered as Ronnie walked past them.

Matthew watched as Ronnie appeared to be very harassed as she kept trying to phone someone who wasn't answering.

"For gods sake answer!"

Finally she slammed her mobile phone down on the counter in frustration and marched outside to cool off.

Matthew followed her outside to see what was wrong and see if he could help in any way. He didn't want her to think he was overly keen but that thought slowly disappeared from his head as he saw Ronnie leaning against the wall looking upset.

"Ronnie are you ok?" he said calmly.

She turned round quickly to face Matthew and her expression changed immediately

"Just get inside and do what I'm paying you to do!" she yelled angrily.

Matthew could see she was distressed and wanted desperately to comfort her, but Ronnie didn't want to be helped.

He scowled at her as swiftly walked back inside trying to hide his annoyance at her blatant disregard for his feelings.

So what if Ronnie didn't know he was her son? She shouldn't speak to anyone like that, especially someone who is trying to help her.

"Hey where'd you get to?" Lisa asked as he entered the VIP room looking dishevelled.

"Nowhere," Matthew muttered.

"Lets get started bringing the trays of food out, people are arriving!" Ronnie raised her voice as she walked in with a brave face on.

Matthew intended to avoid eye contact with her for the rest of the night. He had enough things to worry about, why should Ronnie add to this.

Matthew looked on as Ronnie played the perfect host. He was beginning to resent her for pretending to be happy, pretending that everything was ok in her life. Matthew hadn't known what to expect when he came looking for his mother, but she wasn't anything like the mother he had hoped for.

At the end of the night Matthew and Lisa stood outside chatting away with mindless small talk. It was nice to meet someone else in London that he could talk to, and she seemed interested in more than just talking.

"So, do you fancy going somewhere? For coffee?" Lisa asked giggling as she stroked his shoulder.

"Where do you reckon we could get coffee at this time?" Matthew laughed.

They has been sipping glasses of champagne all night much to Ronnie's dismay, and both were stumbling through the streets their voices the only sound in the nearly silent night.

"I'm staying not far from here."

"Sounds good," Lisa replied smiling.

****

"It's not bad this place, you should have seen some of the hostels I stayed in before I came here, total dive's most of them," Matthew explained as he unlocked his room door.

She pulled him in for a kiss as they walked in the room. Matthew didn't really know why he was doing this, but he liked this girl and it was nice to feel wanted. His last relationship had ended badly and since then relationships didn't seem appealing anymore.

They had only just entered the room when there was a knock at door. Matthew buttoned up his shirt and peered his head round the door. The landlady was standing in her dressing gown looking very annoyed.

"There's someone at the door for you, been here three times looking for you!" she yelled angrily.

Matthew was lightly confused, who would be looking for him? Only his family knew the address he was staying at and it couldn't be somebody from around here, not at this time.

"What is it?" Lisa giggled from behind him.

"I'll just go down and see," Matthew replied anxiously.

It had just gone past twelve as he walked downstairs and opened the front door. Matthew's jaw dropped in shock when he saw who was standing there.

"Hi matt, going to talk to me now."

**Hey! Thanks for your reviews, please please keep reviewing and let me know if you like this fic. More about Matthew's past will be revealed in the coming chapters and I promise its going to get more exciting! xx**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Matthew stood frozen on the spot. In a mixture of shock and anger he tried to slam the door shut, but was stopped by the person on the other side.

"I'm here now and you have to talk to me," the person spoke softly. She had a very calm and gentle tone to her voice but Matthew knew otherwise. He didn't trust her; he hadn't trusted her in a long time.

"Why did you come here?" he said shakily.

Matthew couldn't decide what angered him more, the fact she was here or that she was acting so calm and together. This beautiful young woman had broken his heart, and it had only just begun to recover. The gentle wind blew her long flowing blonde hair across her face and she looked straight at him with tears welling up in her eyes.

"You wouldn't listen to me when I tried to talk to you on the phone, but it doesn't matter. What I need to tell you...I..I have to say it in person," she cried hesitantly.

He couldn't tell if her sadness was genuine or it was all for show, to convince him to listen.

"How did you even find out where I was staying?" Matthew questioned her. He stood between the door and the street as if he was blocking her from entering the building.

The woman brushed her hair behind her ears nervously trying to avoid Matthew's gaze.

"Gareth!" Matthew said loudly.

"I thought I could trust him not to tell you!"

"Please Matt don't blame him, I practically begged him to give me your address. He only gave it to me to get rid of me pestering him," she explained. There were tears trickling down her cheeks as she attempted to smile, it was an emotional reunion for both of them.

It was a warm summer's night but Matthew didn't want to stand out on the street and discuss his business for anyone to see.

"Come inside," he sighed hopelessly.

Matthew had almost forgotten about Lisa who when he walked back in the room, jumped up from her position lying on his bed when she noticed he had company.

"Matthew, what's going on? Who is she?" Lisa asked confused.

"Do you mind if we do something another time, maybe I could take you out? I have to sort something, I'm sorry," Matthew said regretfully.

He liked Lisa but was relieved in a way; he still had to sort his head out before involving other people in his life.

"Whatever," she spat furiously.

She carelessly pulled her jacket on and stormed out of his room, not forgetting to shoot a dirty look in Matthew's direction as she left.

"She seemed lovely," the woman said sarcastically.

Matthew only glared at her in frustration, he felt guilty that had asked Lisa to go, especially because he really didn't want to be in the situation he found himself in now.

"Don't. I still don't understand why you came here, you must have realised that I don't want to talk to you. We said all we had to say weeks ago, and its over there's no going back not for me," Matthew explained.

He had said these things a hundred times before, but lately she just seemed unable to accept it.

She lifted his hand and placed it in her own. Matthew wanted to pull away but he was drawn back in when he looked into her eyes.

"I hurt you, badly. And I don't expect you to forgive me but there are things that have happened that we can't forget. I know you don't want to be with me and I accepted that a long time ago but……"

"What do you want me to say?" Matthew interrupted her barely giving her the chance to explain.

"Rachael you can't do this! Stop messing with my head. You cheated on me, and then got together with the guy when we broke up! I really hope you two are happy, really have a nice life."

He yanked the door open and thrust his arm in the air encouraging her to leave.

"It's not about that, look we're not even together that didn't last. I never felt for him the way I did for you. You know I still love you I always will but….."

"A whole month you went behind my back with him, I loved you and you destroyed us! You are the only girl I ever loved, I keep thinking if I'll ever have that again," he yelled.

Rachael collapsed onto the armchair by the window, she was at a complete loss, and it was obvious from the expression on her face. She was tired, exhausted from the journey and pleading with Matthew to listen.

"I won't ever forgive myself for the way I treated you, and I still don't know why I let it happened. You have to let me explain some things to you, things I couldn't possibly say in a text or over the phone. I'm sorry I turned up here, I'm sorry I kept phoning you but……" her voice had turned into a whisper as she sobbed into her hands.

Matthew stood over her rubbing his forehead, anxiously trying to think of a way to get her to leave. It was late and she probably didn't have anywhere to stay, she would have to stay with him that was probably part of the plan.

"Look don't get upset, but you can't blame me for feeling this way. I've tried to move on with my life, move on to other things. Its only been a couple of months since we split up, you have to understand that seeing you just doesn't help," he tried his best not to be too angry at her, the anger seemed to disappear when he saw the saw the state she was in. Rachael used to be the one person he knew he could always trust but that was shattered when she broke his heart.

She pulled out a tissue from her bag and used it it wipe away the smudges of her make-up and the tears she was still crying.

"Mattie, this is really hard for me, I spent so long wondering if I was doing the right thing but I really don't know. I don't know what to do. Craig and I were never going to work, he's not right for me, I know that now. Just wish I hadn't been so stupid and mucked things up with you, but I know I can't change that, I'm not trying to….." she paused and looked up at Matthew's face.

There was a time when they had been each others everything, he was her best friend the one who was always there when she needed him and even when she didn't.

He kneeled down next to her and forced a kind of reassuring smile. It was so hard to hate her as much as he wanted to he couldn't. She wasn't making any sense though and Matthew was confused as to what it all meant. He really didn't need to hear about her relationship with the man who was the reason they broke up. If she was upset why come to him? She knew he didn't want to see or speak to her, everything was still raw and his pain hadn't eased or his heart mended. Matthew liked to pretend that he was ok. His friends in particular had been worried about him since the break-up but he brushed off there comments and carried on.

It was times like these that he missed him mother the most. She always knew what to say when things got hard; he hoped that Ronnie would be that kind of mother.

"Rach I still don't understand, you've gotten yourself in such a state. It's not fair to do that to me or yourself," Matthew pleaded with her.

Rachael took in a deep breath like she was preparing herself for something. She managed to hold herself together and stopped crying. Now she looked very serious but worried at the same time.

Matthew was becoming increasingly concerned, was she ill or something?

"A few weeks ago I went to the doctors, I hadn't been feeling too great and I thought it was just a bug but….." she paused as he looked back at her in shock.

Matthew stood up abruptly and placed his hand over his mouth. He hoped what he thought wasn't correct; he kept silent and watched her lips closely as she spoke.

"Well I'm, I'm pregnant…..and it might be yours."

**Hey, sorry bout the lack of updates. And thank you all for your reviews. Been working really hard on the next few chapters. I hope this has been a surprise, and it's not meant to copy the Roxy/Jack/Sean paternity storyline. I think it's gonna be exciting if I handle it the way I want to. There will be more and more revealed about his past through interaction with other characters. Rachael was of course the person calling him lol. I wanted to create a kind of storyline for Matthew that wasn't just about him being Ronnie's son. But he will turn to Ronnie eventually. I don't want to say too much! Please review as I'm really excited to know what you think of this chapter, it's a big turning point in the story and I hope it's not too much too soon. xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Matthew clutched onto the arm of the chair to stop himself from falling. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could this have happened? Things were beginning to come together in his life, he had moved on from Telford to escape from his old life and find himself and now this. He could feel his whole body shaking as the shock of Rachael's words began to set in.

She sat hopelessly gazing up at Matthew, he was so silent and his face appeared absent as he stared out of the window. Rachael leaned over to touch his arm and try to comfort him through the shock but he rejected her advances and pulled away.

"I don't know what to say Matt, I told you it was hard for me," she said calmly. Her gentle approach made no difference in easing his anxiety as Matthew continued to ignore her.

"I kept going over it in my head, what I would say to you. But there was no easy way and you needed to know."

There was so much desperation in here voice, like she had expected a different reaction than the one she got. It was impossible to tell if he was angry, upset or indifferent but she had to know what was going through his mind.

The room was filled with an eerie silence for a few minutes when neither of them spoke or even breathed loud enough to hear. Then Matthew walked quietly over to the table and slouched onto the chair and folded his arms. It was like he was waiting for her to carry on speaking, to explain further what this meant but she didn't.

"How do I know your telling the truth? This could be something you've planned, a way to get me back, to trap me! How do you even know it might be mine?" his voice got louder and louder as he addressed her in fury.

Rachael scowled at him in disgust, how could he accuse her of being so cruel as to lie about something like this.

"I'm nearly twelve weeks gone so yes there's a 50/50 chance it's your baby! I….I used protection with you and him……." She felt awful having to explain this him, it was like rubbing salt into the wound.

"I get it please don't go on. What I don't get is how you only found out a few weeks ago?" Matthew said puzzled. He still wanted this to be some sort of mistake although it was really happening, it wasn't a bad dream.

"Matt, I never suspected anything until I started feeling nauseous. I guess I had been stressed and I'm not gonna explain the details but you can get bleeding in the early stages of pregnancy that seem like a period……"

"Yeah ok enough, you really don't need to explain that," Matthew interrupted her uncomfortably.

He had thought for a split second that she wouldn't be able to offer him an explanation, Rachael had lied to him before and he still didn't trust her.

For a moment, just a moment he had thought about what it would have been like if they were still together. They would be a couple expecting a baby, not two people who were thrown together by this life changing news.

"I don't see any reason for me to stick around now, you obviously don't want to accept this," she said discouragingly.

Things hadn't gone to plan for Rachael, she wanted him to at least acknowledge the truth and not hide from it. She still loved Matthew very much and it was a painful realisation that he didn't appear to feel the same way.

"No don't go. I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout but it's a lot to take in……I mean are you sure it might be my baby?" Matthew asked doubtfully.

Rachael walked over to where he was sitting and with tears in her eyes she kneeled down in front of him and gently placed her hands on his lap

"I cheated, I slept with him when I was sleeping with you and I have regretted it ever since. You have no idea how much I regret it. But this is happening Matt and if it helps I really hope it's yours," she said tentatively.

Matthew looked up at her sad face and surprisingly he felt sorry for her. She had hurt him badly but she was still Rachael, this was hard for her too. He grasped both of her hands in his own and gently kissed them even though he had turned away from her gaze once more.

"We'll figure it out, try not to worry," he whispered.

"You must be exhausted, take the bed and sleep. I'll sleep on the sofa; we can talk more in the morning."

Truthfully he wanted to keep on talking and find a way to comprehend the things he had just been told but Matthew couldn't bring himself to ask anymore questions. There was even more weighing on his mind than before, his run in with Ronnie seemed like a distance memory now.

Rachael breathed a sigh of relief, she had been dwelling on this for weeks and although there was a lot of tension between them, it felt good to get it off her chest.

"I'm glad I didn't give up on you, I wanted to tell you first before anyone else. It's not the best situation I know but I want to keep this baby," she said it with such desperation and uncertainty.

Matthew wondered if she had considered having a termination and would she have included him in the decision if she had thought about it.

"Did you ever think about having an abortion?" Matthew asked quietly. He was considerably afraid of what her reaction would be but was relieved when Rachael nodded her head in response.

"Yes but only for a day or so. Then I just kept thinking what if? I saw all these mothers with their babies around town and I just thought that I could be one of them. I know I'm young but I've had a fun life so far, it doesn't need to end, I just need to grow up," she explained as she caressed her stomach.

Matthew smiled as he imagined what Rachael would be like as a mother. She was kind and caring and definitely determined, he couldn't fault her for that.

"I don't want to ruin your life, but I would have hated lying to you not again. Craig doesn't know yet, I haven't even thought of how I'm going to tell him."

She sat down on the bed and removed her shoes to distract herself from the awkward silence and moments of uncertainty between them.

"We should just talk in the morning, things will be clearer then," Matthew said distantly.

He sat down next to Rachael and put his arm around her. It was an attempt to offer her some comfort but Rachael misread the signs and leaned in to kiss him. She looked so helpless and miserable that Matthew didn't want to just push her away like he didn't care at all.

"Stop, stop doing this Rach. We can't be together, not like this," he said as he gently pulled away from her.

She had a way of getting into his head and confusing his feelings. Everything seemed so messed up right now, it was hard to know what he wanted.

Rachael looked away from Matthew, she felt embarrassed by her moment of weakness but he always made her feel so safe like she never had to be afraid.

"I better sleep, I'm really tired," she whispered through her tears.

****

Matthew lay awake most of the night, he couldn't get to sleep on the uncomfortable sofa but it was mainly because his mind was in overdrive. He couldn't stop thinking about the nights events and how crazy the situation was. He could be father, she could be carrying his child. Did he even want it to be his baby? Could he really be a good father and offer this child anything?

If he came round to the idea that he could be a father it might end up being all for nothing. If it wasn't his baby he could end up getting hurt again and that was the hardest thing of all to come to terms with.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Matthew had pushed away his thoughts of Ronnie and how cold and bitter she had acted towards him that night. He didn't have anyone to talk to, not anyone who would understand this turmoil he was going through. Matthew closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. He let his body rest and for a while his mind was at ease.

****

It was eleven o'clock when Matthew eye's finally opened again. It took a while for him to recall what had happened the night before. He sat up and rubbed his eyes to gain some clarity. As he looked around the room Matthew was startled to see that the covers were pulled back on the bed and there was no trace of Rachael. Her shoes were no longer lying at the foot of the bed and her bag and jacket weren't hanging by the door. He panicked, where was she? Maybe she had gone out for breakfast and left a note or something. Matthew searched the room hoping to find evidence that she hadn't just taken off after landing this bombshell on him. But he wasn't surprised by her actions, Rachael often ran from her problems and he hoped that this time she would see sense and face things head on. They were going to talk, they were going to try and figure things out and Matthew feared that because of her they wouldn't.

Then he spotted it. On top of the pillow on his bed there was a scrap piece of paper that when he looked closer Matthew recognised her handwriting.

_I'm sorry, I can't. It was wrong of me to come here and drop this on you. I'll sort things on my own. I'm sorry that I hurt you again. Rach x_

Matthew scrunched the note up in his hand and threw it on the floor with rage. He should have expected this from her; she always put herself first even when she was trying to protect others. Although it was probably pointless he decided to call her and demand a proper explanation. It rang out for ages until finally she answered.

"Matt, I'm sorry I need to clear my head. Please just try to understand, I'll call you. I'm going away to stay with a friend, don't try and find me. I'm scared and I……"

"You can't just come here and tell me what you did then leave! My heads in a mess too you know. How can you do this? We were going to talk; I was going to be there…." Matthew was furious that he had even given her a chance.

She hung up the phone and Matthew was left alone and confused. Where could he go from here?

**Hey! Sorry about the lack of updates, I've been a little stuck with this chapter and wanted to get it just right. Thanks so much for your reviews and I'm glad you seem to like the pregnancy storyline. I feel like I'm being a bit mean to Matthew but I hope it makes for interesting reading lol. Review if you can, I'm so grateful for all your feedback! xx p.s its definitely not the last we'll see of rachael! thought i'd add that little bit on the end lol**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Matthew didn't know what to do, how he would get through this alone. His problems were his own and he didn't know who to turn to in order to share this burden. Rachael hadn't even given him a chance; she just got up and left without saying a proper goodbye. She could have told him in person that she needed space and then left, he would have understood. But not this way. He couldn't justify her actions this morning.

Matthew knew from experience that incessant phone calls probably wouldn't work when trying to get a hold of her. It hadn't worked for Rachael when she tried to contact him. He had a taste of what it felt like to be helpless and a small part of him pitied his ex for the situation she had put herself in. Rachael was vulnerable and scared, eventually she would need him. At least that was what Matthew hoped.

Questions were racing through his mind, all the things he had forgotten to ask her the night before when he was too tired to even think straight. It didn't seem real in the light of day. He looked out of the window and watched the world go by. So many people with so many problems, he had hoped that this new chapter of his life wouldn't have to include such worries and heartache but he had no choice but to get on with it until there was something he could do.

"Dam, I'm gonna late," Matthew hissed angrily as he glanced up at the clock.

He was due to start work at twelve and the thought of spending the afternoon in the Vic did little to lighten his mood. He wanted to just keep his head down and get through the day; hopefully time would pass quicker than it appeared to right now.

****

"Oi what time do' you call this?" Roxy said jokingly. She was in a very upbeat mood which put Matthew right off instantly. He got on famously with her but when Roxy was having fun she expected everyone else around her to be in the same frame of mind.

Matthew forced a smile as he made his way to join her behind the bar. Roxy and Sean were happily married and expecting a baby, and despite wanting to confide in his friend she had no idea what he was going through.

"Sorry Roxy, bit of a late night last night. It won't happen again," he sighed miserably.

Roxy screwed up her face displayed a very puzzled expression. She wasn't used to this side of Matthew. He was normally so chirpy and enthusiastic, even when he had an early start.

"Matt, I know we haven't known each other long but…..but you can talk to me if something's bothering you," she said hesitantly.

Matthew tapped his fingers against the solid surface of the bar. He was trying to distract himself and drown out his surroundings and that included avoiding Roxy's questions.

"How did it go last night at the club? It was your first time working there, am I right?" she continued.

Matthew could see she was trying to change the subject to encourage him to talk but it wasn't working. He didn't intend to share his would-be happy news with her.

"It was ok, but like I said I'm tired," he replied coldly.

"This isn't like you I 'm just worried you can let me be concerned surely?" Roxy persisted.

But she had taken it too far, and without meaning to Matthew snapped and released some of the pent up emotions he had suppressed since waking up that morning.

"Look you don't know me! I've not even been her a month and you're talking like we're best mates."

Roxy looked gob smacked by this sudden outburst and surprisingly her only response was to storm off out of sight leaving Matthew to contemplate his actions.

He regretting saying the words in the very moment he opened his mouth. But it was said and he couldn't take it back, he would have to apologise and try to explain to Roxy his reasons for being in such a bad mood, without really telling anything at the same time.

Matthew very cautiously walked up the stairs of the Vic, hoping that there was no one else around so he would have a chance to talk to her.

"Roxy, Roxy can we talk? I'm sorry just let me explain please," he said gradually raising his voice. When it was clear to Matthew that nobody else was around, apart from Tracey who had arrived just as he went to find Roxy, he continued to try and explain himself.

"I've just had a pretty rubbish night, and I should have been grateful that you were worried about me. The truth is…..I….well you're the only person I've met round here that I know I can really talk to," he assured her.

He could hear a creaking noise coming from the door of Roxy's room. Matthew hadn't thought of her as the type who would run away and get upset but she had told him recently that being pregnant put her hormones all over the place. Slowly she opened the door and faced him with a very defiant look on her face and body language that told him she was obviously annoyed.

"You know, if anyone else had spoken to me like that I would have flipped my lid without a second thought. Don't get me wrong I still feel like giving you a good slap but there's something about you I like. I still don't know what it is but you and me seem to make a good team. I don't make real friends often, I think that's why I care so much Matt," she explained.

Matthew chuckled a little at Roxy's honesty. She was always so blunt and amusing; he couldn't quite believe this woman was his auntie. They were family and she didn't have a clue. Roxy felt a connection between them and Matthew wished he could explain why this was to her and Ronnie, but now wasn't the right time not with everything else that was going on in his life.

"You still can give me a slap if you want to," Matthew said as a wide grin appeared on his face.

"Come here," Roxy said calmly. She opened her arms out to him and it felt like all was forgotten when they hugged in reconciliation.

Matthew knew now he could trust Roxy, perhaps it would be better to talk to her about Rachael and the baby. They seemed to understand each other now, Roxy was there and willing to help him with whatever problems he had.

"Can we talk, it's just that well I found something out last night and I can't think straight," Matthew said worriedly. He had turned into a bumbling mess. The thoughts that were all mixed in his head came out equally as confusing when he spoke them aloud.

"Calm down mate, we can have a quick chat before we need to go and help Tracy downstairs," she said soothingly.

It was such a relief to have the chance to offload some of this information he was still finding hard to process.

The two of them sat down at the kitchen table and nervously Matthew began to talk about the events of last night.

Roxy was intrigued as to what had caused this sudden chance of attitude in her normally very laid-back and outgoing friend. It had gotten her very worried when she saw him in such an angry frustrated sate of mind.

"I went home with this girl last night and………"

"Did something go wrong in the bedroom department then?" Roxy bellowed without thinking.

She swiftly stopped giggling when she noticed the look of annoyance on Matthew's face. He was clearly not amused by her sense of humour today.

"Funny but no it's….its nothing to do with her. When we got back to the B&B there was………."

"Rox, c'mon we're going shopping today. Have you forgotten? I need to do some job hunting too," Sean interrupted as he entered the room.

"Sean please we're just having a chat. Can you wait a bit?" Roxy said anxiously.

Matthew knew where this was going. They were a good couple and appeared to be very happy together, but when they disagreed it was best not to get caught in the middle.

"Men don't chat Roxy, what's going on?" Sean said sarcastically.

"I'm just gonna go if you don't mind Rox, is there any chance I can take the day off I need to sort some stuff out," Matthew lied. He thought he would be able to just get on with things but this was proving rather difficult.

Roxy looked at Sean and back again at Matthew, like she was trying to choose between the two.

"Well there's nobody to do you're shift Matt. I wouldn't mind normally but if we're going out," Roxy replied.

"Its fine, Peggy's and Archie are back from whatever shopping trip they went on this morning," Sean said hurriedly.

Matthew still couldn't tell what Sean thought of him but it was obvious he wasn't to keen on the friendship he had with Roxy.

"Yeah well ok then, but we can still talk……" she said encouragingly as Matthew got up to leave.

"Don't worry about it; I'll catch you another time. I'm fine," he lied during an attempt not to make eye contact with a suspicious Roxy.

Matthew had pretended he wasn't bothered by this even though the idea of having somebody to confide in made him feel a bit better about the situation.

****

After a very prompt exit form the Queen Vic Matthew decided to go and buy a bottle of something for him to drown his sorrows in. He wasn't a big drinker and didn't make a habit of doing so alone, but he needed something to provide comfort later on that evening. Satnding outside the minute mart he felt his pockets for his wallet.

In all the rush of the morning Matthew panicked as he realised that he hadn't picked it up. In fact he couldn't even remember if he saw it lying on the table where it usually was. Surely if it had been there he would have picked it up despite being in a hurry. It was just instinct for most people, to grab their wallet and phone before leaving the house.

What if he had left it at the club last night? He would have to go back and see if it had been found this morning.

****

"Hello, is anyone here?" Matthew asked quietly and he entered the club. The front door had been left ajar and hesitantly he crept down the stairs.

"For God sake! What are you doing here?" Ronnie jumped as she yelled at a startled Matthew.

"Sorry the door was open I just came to see if I left my wallet here last night," Matthew explained.

Ronnie's look of anger eased when she realised his motives were innocent. The hot and cold temperament she had was something Matthew was starting to get used to. Although last night he was furious at her, now she seemed softer in the light of day.

"Em…Yeah the cleaners found it this morning. I was gonna call you but I've just been busy with paperwork. Jack seems to think he can go off whenever he likes these days and leave it all to me," Ronnie moaned.

"Come through to the office I locked it in the safe I'll just get it now."

Matthew followed her through and suddenly he became nervous again. Being alone with her strengthen his urge to blurt it all out and tell the truth.

"Here you go. Cute picture inside, is that your girlfriend?" Ronnie asked passively. Matthew looked up at her seemingly annoyed that she had looked through his things.

"I had to check who it belonged to. The photo was the first thing I saw, I didn't go snooping….."

"Yeah of course sorry, I just forgot that picture was in there," he replied as he shoved the wallet in his back pocket.

"Not together now?" Ronnie asked curiously. She didn't seem to be prying and Matthew was strangely happy that she was taking an interest even if it was a subject he didn't want to discuss.

"It's a bit more complicated than that now," he whispered sadly.

Ronnie seemed to pick up on his anxieties, and she felt a need to make sure Matthew was ok.

"I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I can be a moody cow it's just the way I get sometimes," Ronnie apologised.

"Its not that, I barely remember last night it's just….."

He couldn't believe how easy it was to just start taking in front of Ronnie, the one person he never even thought of confiding in.

"What's wrong, has something happened to you?" Ronnie asked concerned.

**Hey! Just a note to say thanks to everyone who has been reading this fic and to all of you who have given me feedback. I am so grateful as it really encourages me to keep writing. ****I hope you will all keep reading despite my lack of updates at the moment. I hope to change that and do more writing over the next week. Recently I've had some things going on that have distracted me from writing but I've discovered its been a great way to take my mind off it so I'll definitely be keeping up writing both of my fics! :) xx**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Matthew felt instinctively comforted by Ronnie's voice. She was warm and friendly towards him which was a side of her that rarely surfaced. He stared at the photograph of himself and Rachael in happier times. It had remained in his wallet ever since they had broken up because he couldn't bring himself to take it out. They had been so in love and it seemed after last night that Rachael still had these feelings for him. But Matthew couldn't make sense of his own feelings, let alone hers.

Ronnie watched as Matthew stood gazing at the picture he so obviously treasured. She hadn't paid much attention to this boy since he arrived on the square but his face told a story of pain and sadness. Heartbreak and loss was a familiar feeling to Ronnie and could sense that he had suffered in this way also.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asked bewildered.

When Matthew didn't reply Ronnie began pretending to tidy her desk to try and make the silence less awkward.

"I still love her," Matthew said softly. His words were out of the blue and a startled Ronnie looked up from the pile of papers she was organising.

"What?" Ronnie replied not really understanding what he meant.

"I…..I thought I didn't anymore but it feels different now. I don't want to feel this way. How can you love someone and hate them at the same time?" he said thoughtfully.

Ronnie empathised with his feelings of confusion. She knew all to well what it was like to be hurt by someone you loved.

"It's possible, believe me," Ronnie said in hope that she could comfort him.

Matthew closed the wallet and carefully slipped it in his back pocket. Before with Roxy he had been ready to open up to her about almost everything, and now he was standing in front of Ronnie who now wanted to help him.

"It doesn't matter. I'm ok, I better go," he said nervously.

The truth was that he didn't want to go. It was Ronnie he wanted to talk to now. Roxy was his friend but she was his mother, the one person who could make it all better.

"Sure I can't get you a drink? Think I'm going to need one with all of this paperwork to sort out," Ronnie sighed.

Matthew wanted to walk away but his feet wouldn't let him move. He was frozen to the spot desperate not to let his secret slip during this already difficult time.

"I suppose I could have one drink. Probably not the best idea after the night I've just had," he joked.

Ronnie raised her eyebrows at this remark and she began to wonder what exactly this girl had done to break his heart.

"Come through and I'll pour us a glass, I know it's a bit early but you look like you need it," she said motioning at him to follow.

Matthew reluctantly followed her through to the bar, because as much as he longed to confide in her it wasn't going to be easy.

"So what happened last night? I noticed you leaving with Lisa," Ronnie asked trying not to sound too interested.

It wasn't clear to her whether Matthew was a young guy who was simply going through a bad break up or if they was more to it that meets the eye. She didn't feel like it was anything that should concern her but his misery drew her to him in a way. It was strange and something Ronnie couldn't really understand.

"It's nothing to do with Lisa. I had an unexpected visitor last night, someone I really didn't want to see," he explained.

Ronnie handed him a glass of vodka and watched Matthew's every move as he sat down at the bar in front of her.

"My ex turned up, she's been trying to get in touch for ages but I've just been ignoring her. It didn't end well, well not for me anyway," said Matthew displaying a very mournful expression.

It angered him how much Rachael had climbed into his thoughts again, after such a long time of being blocked out it was now all he could think about. Did Ronnie really want to know all this, to help him? Or was she just being kind to him out of pity? Either way it meant he got to confide in her and confess his worries.

Ronnie leaned over the bar with her hands griped together as if she way trying to hold back in responding.

"I take it she must have hurt you pretty bad then? " Ronnie guessed.

Reluctantly nodding his head in agreement Matthew took a sip of the drink that sat placed in front of him. Drinking was the last thing he wanted to do, it would probably send him deeper as he drowned his sorrows. But with Ronnie there he felt there was reassurance that it was ok to allow himself comfort when times got hard.

"She keeps messing with my head, you know," he replied miserably.

"Yeah I know what that feels like. If you really don't want to be with her again you just need to put her straight. It might hurt but it's the best thing for you both, put yourself first," Ronnie advised him.

She had tried setting Jack straight all those months ago when he begged her for a second chance and although Matthew situation was different he had to put himself first.

"It's not just the two of us though," he muttered so quietly but loud enough for Ronnie to catch what he said.

Again confused by his words she was unsure where the conversation was going.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously

Ronnie knew very little about this boy but he seemed like a kind-hearted person who had lost his way.

"She….she…..," he hesitated in an attempt to prevent himself speaking aloud. If he told someone else then it would make even more real and life-changing.

"She's pregnant and it might be my kid."

He let out a huge sigh of relief but at the same time he could feel his stomach churning with nerves. Telling his mother was scary, but when she didn't know she was his mother it was even scarier.

There was a long pause after Matthew's revelation as Ronnie had no idea what to say or do next. She was haunted by the painful memory of losing her own child and talking about these kinds of things always reminded her of this loss.

Matthew waited anxiously for her response, wondering if confiding in Ronnie had been the right thing to do.

"It might be your kid," Ronnie repeated his last words.

"Yeah, she cheated on me more than once. Now she's saying it could be mine or his. She Stayed with the guy after we broke up but it didn't last" he explained.

Ronnie withdrew a little as she looked away from his gaze and brushed her hair behind her ears.

"Well em…I guess you've just gotta deal with it the best you can. I mean surely you should talk to your family and they can help," she said hastily.

This sudden change of attitude shook Matthew. He was beginning to realise that she was uncomfortable talking to him now and her initial concern from minutes ago had disappeared.

"Ronnie, have I said something to upset you?" Matthew asked worriedly.

He knew she must have found it hard giving him up for adoption all those years ago but it seemed like her problem ran deeper than that.

"I just think you should be talking to your parents or friends about this not me. It really has nothing to do with me," she insisted.

Taken aback by this outburst Matthew remained silent after downing the rest of his drink and continuing to stare in Ronnie's direction. Perhaps she had never gotten over the guilt of giving him away? Was he forcing her to relive a past that she would rather forget? Matthew felt a sudden surge of anger well up inside him. He wanted her to listen because she was his mother; it was everything to do with her.

"How can I tell my family? I don't even know what's going on. If she had found out about the pregnancy when we broke up, do you know what I would probably have told her? Get rid of it," Matthew snapped. He wasn't really angry at Ronnie but all of the emotions he was fighting were now beginning to surface.

"And now I hate myself for even thinking that. I never said that to her last night, last night I told it would be ok and we could talk in the morning but you know what she did? She left…without even a goodbye. She left me after telling me that she could be carrying my child!" He yelled. It was uncontrollable, the tears began to drizzle down his cheek and Matthew quickly wiped them away with his jacket before Ronnie could notice. Everything he had wanted to let out since the night before was coming out with Ronnie looking on.

"I think you should just go, go home and have a lie down," Ronnie aid anxiously. She was no longer kind and caring. It was like everything he had just told her had made her feelings towards him indifferent.

Matthew slammed the glass down on the bar counter and watched as Ronnie stared at him with a mixture of fear and sadness in her eyes.

"I thought I could talk to you. You're always like this, you act like you care then suddenly you don't anymore," he said hoarsely

"I can't deal with that."

Ronnie couldn't understand why this boy thought her opinion and her concern was so important. She had barely spoken to him since he started working at the club and although she liked Matthew he was just a kid.

"Look, I'm sorry if I upset you in some way. But I don't get why you care what I think," she said desperately.

Matthew felt like he had given her a chance to show she was a good person but if she couldn't even show kindness to him now why did she even deserve to know the truth about his identity?

"You should care, if you knew you would care," Matthew muttered before storming out of the club. He ran up the stairs and out of the front door desperate to get back to his room where he could hide away from all of his problems.

Ronnie was left yet again confused by Matthew. It wasn't just the way he acted but the things he said too. There was something about that boy. What did he mean by _if you knew you would care_?

**Hey! I know it's been ages since my last update but don't worry I've still been writing. I really appreciate all of your reviews and I'm dedicating this chapter to everyone who's been reading, you're all great so thanks! :) Had a lot going on in my life lately (health worries etc) but I'm doing my best with the writing despite that so let me know what you think. This was a really important chapter I think so I hope you liked it. xx**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Morning sunshine!" Stacey exclaimed happily as she sat down next to Matthew in the cafe. He had been nursing a cup of tea for so long that it was now stone cold and tasted disgusting.

"Mornin," he mumbled without even looking up for his gaze.

"What's up wif you? Every time I've seen you this week you've looked miserable," Stacey asked expressing concern. They had only seen each other in passing and Matthew had usually tried to avoid conversation with her. It wasn't anything personal though, he didn't really want to speak to anyone at the moment. The last time he opened up to somebody it was Ronnie and that definitely didn't improve his state of mind or ease his worries.

"You didn't look too chuffed yourself the other day," he replied sarcastically. Matthew had narrowly escaped being stuck in the middle of an argument between Bradley and Stacey the other day, he was about to approach her on the stall but quickly kept on walking when the two came to blows in public. This appeared to have been happening quite a lot lately and it was clearly affecting both of them.

Stacey frowned and nervously brushed her hair back in an attempt to distract from the subject.

"Sorry, I just meant that you haven't really been having a good time of it either eh?" he said sympathetically.

"It's ok; you're not the only one who's noticed. Mum keeps sticking her nose in where it's none of her business," Stacey joked.

"That's a complete waste of a cup of tea you know!" Ian had just walked past their table and as usual he was getting on everyone's nerves.

"Oh leave it out Ian, he's a paying customer!" Stacey retorted angrily. She could always rely on Ian Beale to make her day worse than it already was.

"But you're not, are you actually going to buy something or will that stall be running itself while you're taking up space in here?" Ian said in a rather aggravated tone.

Matthew had many a time witnessed the little disagreements between Ian and Stacey and like always he decided to bow out before his ears began to hurt.

"I better be going, start work at one," he said sounding a little too keen.

His feelings were in fact quite the opposite. There had been no more work at the club since that night and Ronnie was currently nowhere to be seen, so instead he spent most of his days in the Vic drowning in self pity. According to Roxy she had swooned off with only a brief phone call to her sister the next day to let her know why she'd left. But she didn't give any indication as to where she was, only that she needed to get away for a while. For a few days Matthew had been worried about her, even though she treated him badly he still cared. Roxy had often mentioned how independent Ronnie was and for this reason he became less concerned about her well-being, after all she hadn't shown him much compassion.

"Oh don't let him bother you," Stacey said waving her arm in Ian's direction.

"He's like that with everyone you should know by now."

In between the clanging of dirty dishes Ian shot Stacey a dirty look and carried on ranting about inconsiderate customers.

"It's not that. I really should get going Stace, catch you later though?" Matthew said awkwardly.

"I'll come by after work and you can fill me in on what's been going on in your life," she suggested encouragingly.

"Sure, I..I'll see you later then," he replied trying to sound enthusiastic. He wanted to make a quick getaway out of the cafe, especially after noticing that Pat Butcher had just walked in. For some reason she and mo had taken a liking to Matthew and often commented on what a 'nice' young man he was.

"Oi watch it!" a voice screeched as Matthew realised he had bumped into someone on his way out. He recognised it to be Ronnie's and immediately turned his head round to face her.

Looking slightly windswept and exasperated Ronnie stood only inches away from him, her hair had blown past his face and he could smell the scent of her coconut shampoo. She must have thought he was a bit of a creep because all Matthew did for those few moments was stare at her longing to be noticed. It felt like even if you were in the same room as her standing right in front of her, you could still be invisible to Ronnie Mitchell.

"Sorry," he muttered softly.

Matthew was expecting her to say something along the lines of; _you should watch where you're going! _But she remained silent. Instead Ronnie gave him faint smile, her lips curved only slightly to reveal this but it offered Matthew a glimmer of hope.

"Don't worry about it," she sighed. Ronnie searched in her bag for something and hadn't realised he was still staring at her.

"Well...bye then," he hesitated before getting out of the cafe as soon as possible. He couldn't form the words he wanted to say to her so instead Matthew bottled it and ran. When Ronnie was away all he thought about was bumping into her and having the chance to tell her why he said the things he did, but now it was all he could do to get away from her.

"What did you say to him?!" Stacey shouted from the table where she now sat alone.

Ronnie turned to Stacey, taken back by her sudden outburst. What exactly was Stacey Slater mouthing off about now?

"What are you on about?" a confused Ronnie enquired. She didn't really have time for this, Jack had arranged a meeting for later on in the afternoon and Ronnie wanted to be prepared for whatever he had to throw at her. The day she left the square, Ronnie didn't inform Jack she was doing so and since then had ignored his phone calls. She needed to get some head space, away from the glaring eyes of her father and the rest of her family who were blind to his deceit.

"He couldn't have run out fast enough! Do you just have that effect on people?" Stacey spat angrily. Ian had gotten her fired up for a confrontation and it appeared Ronnie was in the firing line for apparently upsetting her friend.

"Oh get out of my way Stacey, I didn't say anything," Ronnie said shoving Stacey out of the way. She collapsed onto a chair by the nearest table, pulled her phone out and began dialling a number.

****

Matthew swung back and forward on the park swing in a calming motion as he struggled to come to terms with his situation. He often came here for a chance of solitude and a moment to reflect on his troubles. Ronnie was back. He was going to have to face the music, how much longer could he keep the secret, the incredible weight on his mind?

Things were no better with Rachael; she had only sent him the odd text to let him know she was ok and that she was sorry. For a while all he felt towards her was anger, but now he had considered her fears and that she must be scared too. All he wanted was to talk to her, make her understand that he wasn't going to put pressure on her he would be there if she would only let him. Matthew had heard from friends in Telford that they hadn't seen her there in weeks, this worried him deeply but she didn't want to be found. He often thought what was the point in even staying in walford? He had forged friendships with some of the residents and was earning money but it was only ever enough to cover rent and food. There was nothing left over to save or to actually have a life. He wouldn't even be able to contribute to the baby's life with the wage of a bar job.

Matthew started to dread going into work. The weight of keeping this secret from everyone was beginning to take its toll. Being around the Mitchell's made it that little bit worse as he fought the urge to come clean. He had considered telling Roxy his closest friend in the square. Surely he could trust her? But she was Ronnie's sister and it wouldn't take long for her to just blurt it out the second she saw her sister. That afternoon in R&R when he had stopped by to collect his wallet Matthew could have told her the entire truth, that was after all why he had come to London; to find his birth mother. But it seemed so difficult when actually faced with what he had been searching for. It was like some invisible force was holding him back.

It was obvious that Roxy could sense that something was wrong; she kept giving him reassuring smiles and affectionate pats on the back every now and then. It was a nice feeling to know that somebody cared for him even if it wasn't necessarily the person he wanted to the most, and she treated him more like a little brother than a friend but it did get rather annoying.

Upon entering the Vic Matthew was greeted by an enthusiastic Roxy. Sean was hovering nearby, giving Matthew the distinct feeling that he was being watched. At least Archie wasn't around; he would take Sean over Archie any day.

"What's been going on with you then?" Roxy asked attempting to sound uninterested. But Matthew knew she was fishing for information, Roxy had never perfected the art of subtlety. After their conversation was cut short the other day, Matthew had made sure they didn't have the chance to pick up where they left off. From now on he decided that the only person he could rely on was himself. He felt betrayed by Ronnie and wondered if his words had affected her in any way.

"Nothing new, just the usual. Meeting Stacey for a drink later," he replied casually.

Sean drew his attention away from pouring Patrick glass of rum, and glared at Matthew. He hated that Mathew was friends with both his wife and sister.

"Oh, well I thought you and me could have a drink, well me a soft drink of course and a chat later" said a disappointed Roxy.

"Well, they're be plenty others times Rox. You must get sick of me anyway I'm never away from this place," he replied while shrugging his shoulders and displaying a fake grin across his face to give the impression that he was joking.

Roxy seemed a little hurt that he was so quick to push her away, why did Matthew pull away every time she thought they were getting closer?

****

"C'mon crack a smile Matt; you'll scare the customers away!" Roxy laughed.

"Leave him alone babe, if he wants to sulk let him," Sean sneered. He was smiling cheerfully as he said this but Matthew could see through it.

"You're one to talk," Matthew hissed.

"Excuse me?" Sean said edging closer and closer in his direction.

"You think you're a hard man, look at you. You're just a stupid little kid," he laughed harshly and the sound resounded in Matthew's ears.

"Leave it Sean," Roxy said firmly as she stood between the two of them, her forehead beginning to crease with worry.

Sean had a way of intimidating people that he wanted power over, people that he wanted to scare. Matthew wasn't fooled though; he could see that all Sean wanted was a reaction. How could Roxy love a man like this? He was nothing more than a thug in Matthew's eyes.

When a smirk appeared on Sean's face as a reaction to this silence, Matthew could feel his blood beginning to boil. All he wanted to do was wipe that smile away for good.

"At least I can find a job without having to work for my wife's family," Matthew spat angrily. He wasn't aggressive but knew that this would hit a nerve with Sean, who had been desperately searching from a job so he could afford to provide for Roxy and their baby, and to get her away from Archie.

"Oi! You two need to cool it. I don't understand why you two can't just get along, or at least be civil to one and other," she cried.

Roxy felt like she was stuck in the middle of a pointless disagreement. Sean and Matthew couldn't be more different but they had more in common than either had discovered yet.

"I don't have to listen to that little......"

"SEAN!" Roxy yelled. Her screech rattled Matthew's ear drums and he was relieved to see Stacey had just entered the pub, they were supposed to be having a drink after his shift and the end of it could come sooner as far as he was concerned.

"Alright Stace?" he asked happily. She seemed pretty taken aback by his surprisingly upbeat mood. Especially when it looked like her brother was ready to deck him.

"What's going on?" Stacey enquired, her eyes darting between Sean and Matthew.

"You could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife."

On that note Roxy ushered Matthew away from behind the bar, shooting him a disapproving look in the process.

"You said you were having a drink with Stacey yeah? Go ahead then, can't be bothered with you two," she sighed sadly.

And in that moment Matthew felt extremely guilty for apparently upsetting Roxy, he should have known better even if Sean didn't.

"What the bleeding hells happened today then? It ain't like you to get hot headed. Leave that to Sean," she laughed.

"It's just there's been so much going on lately, I can't really deal with it without feeling angry," Matthew explained.

Stacey was right; he didn't normally lash out at others. Sean was good at pushing his buttons and today this just happened to coincide with his bad mood.

As they sat down to a couple of drinks and a friendly chat he agonised over whether to confide in Stacey, she was like Roxy, not easily fooled by his facade.

"There's somin up wif you, I know it."

"On top of everything else, its just money you know," Matthew lied.

"I'm paying rent on the B&B and it doesn't exactly feel homely, dunno why I'm even sticking around."

"If that's the problem then I've got an idea," she said triumphantly.

Matthew was confused but he had learned not to question Stacey, well not unless he had a good reason to.

She slammed her glass on the table and grabbed Matthew by the hand. In no time she was marching him across the square giggling all the way.

****

"Ahh Stacey didn't know you were coming over tonight. Have you had your tea?" Jean asked looking delighted at the sight of her daughter.

The slaters were gathered in the living room, Charlie reading the paper, Mo on the phone arranging some sort of dodgy deal and Jean who had just looked up from watching the television. She was staring a Matthew, half smiling half frowning a little.

"Oh you work in the vic don't you? Bradley working late love?"

"Everyone this is Matthew, you might know him," Stacey explained.

"Yeah I've seen you in the pub too, nice to meet you son," Charlie said holding his hand out for Matthew to shake.

"You drive a cab, am I right?" he replied creeping further into the room with hesitation.

"That's right, I'm sure you've met Mo," he gestured towards Mo who was deep in conversation with someone called fat Elvis.

"Look I'm not stopping long, but Matthew ere needs a place to stay. He's got a room at that crumby B&B near the tube but he needs somewhere permanent. So a thought wiv my room just sitting empty maybe he could be your lodger?" Stacey said optimistically.

There was long pause Matthew included as he thought about what it would be like to live on the square and with the slaters. He had wished that Stacey would have run it by him first but was touched by her concern and willingness to help him.

"What d'you think Jean?" Charlie asked with a hint of anticipation in his voice.

Everyone in the family knew that Jean didn't always react well to change, but she didn't appear to express any objections.

"Well he seems like a nice lad, as long as you don't make a mess," Mo chuckled.

"If Stacey can vouch for you....and you don't seem like the type to throw wild parties," Charlie joked.

"I can cook, and I'll help with any housework and stuff," he said eagerly

Matthew was slightly embarrassed at how Stacey had put her family on the spot but he couldn't turn down the opportunity to be nearer his own family.

"Well it's like Charlie said.......If you're a friend of Stacey's then I'm sure we'll get on fine," Jean laughed nervously.

"He's probably been living off beans and toast the past few weeks eh?" Stacey said nudging him.

"Yeah pretty much, can't really cook much there," Matthew told them.

"Oh! I can make you something now, will you stay for tea? Stacey love you too. You'll need a good meal in you!" she screeched.

Jean had stood up abruptly and practically dragged Matthew to the kitchen to show him around. Stacey smiled to herself she hadn't done that in while.

**Hey! Firstly I'm sorry for the lack of updates, think it's been a good few weeks since the last. The next chapter is going to focus on Ronnie and where she was when she went away. This one was more about moving the story along and I hope you've enjoyed it. I can now accept anonymous reviews cause I hadn't enabled it until now, didn't realised it was disabled so feel free to review and let me know what you think, I need to know if people still like this fic! Lol I have so much planned and I hope you won't be disappointed :) xx**


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